


Cause it doesn't matter anyway

by Pau1991



Category: Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mykonos, Post larry breakup, Soft Luke, and I'm really bad at tagging, and Louis don't know what to do, bc Harry wants to go back with Louis, drinking and partying, lads trip, louke relationship, so read it, soft louis, summer 2018, with larry drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-11-05 17:28:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17923211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pau1991/pseuds/Pau1991
Summary: Hey! So this is my first fic in the One Direction fandom and hope you all like it. I'm just the bigger louke shipper out there so I've decided to create my own louke content and this is the result. I have to apologise cause my english it's not very good but I tried okay? Also, please, read till the end and let me know if you liked it.





	1. Darling, just hold on.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first fic in the One Direction fandom and hope you all like it. I'm just the bigger louke shipper out there so I've decided to create my own louke content and this is the result. I have to apologise cause my english it's not very good but I tried okay? Also, please, read till the end and let me know if you liked it.

 

**_You in?_ **

Louis was lying in the sofa of his house in London completely relaxed caressing Clifford’s belly when the new text notification sounded on his phone. A message from Calvin. It was the fifth time in the day that Calvin asked him the same question. “You in?” Calvin thought it was a good idea to go on a holiday trip with all of the lads but honestly Louis wasn’t in the mood.

   - Can you believe it? —Louis said showing the texts to his sister Lottie.

   - He really wants you to go, ¿eh?

   - But I don’t want to.

   - Why not, baba?

   - Cause I don’t feel like partying and drinking, you know?

   - Yeah, but do you think it’s better to stay here feeling all sad and lonely?

   - I am not lonely. I have you. And Cliff. And Oli.

   - What? — asked the last one who only was paying attention to his phone.

   - Louis doesn’t want to go to the lads’ trip.

   - WHAT?

   - Oh, thanks, Lottie —Louis said with a grumpy voice.

   - Wait, Louis, but you tell me you will come with us.

   - I know, but lately I don’t feel good enough.

   - Because of Harry?

   - Oli, do not say his name! —Lottie screamed.

   - It’s okay, Lots. He’s not Voldemort, we can talk about that. And yes because of Harry. I still don’t understand why he broke up with me.

   - I do not understand either.

   - Oli, you aren’t helping.

   - Okay, I’ll leave.

   - But, tell me, Lots, you understand why?

   - Honestly no, but think about this: maybe he wasn’t the one.

   - Of course he was the one. We were together for seven years and suddenly when he finished the tour he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, such a bitch! — Louis said with tearful eyes.

Lottie was about to repeat that maybe Harry wasn’t the one, that their lives now that One Direction was on hiatus were too difficult, maybe it was better this way. But she couldn’t say a word because Louis’ phone started ringing. Louis picked up and Clifford run away clearly upset because the noise woke him up. She didn’t want to hear a private conversation between her brother and someone else but couldn’t help listening to Louis saying “Luke”. She thought it was a professional call but instead it was Luke. Lottie didn’t want to meddle in Louis’ private life but since she was young she saw Louis and Luke together and thought they could be a really cute couple. Luke wasn’t like the rest of Louis squad, he was more shy and kind; and Louis was always smiling around him. Anyway, Louis never said a word about Lottie’s boyfriends so she won’t say anything too.

   - Oli! — Louis shouted. — Come here!

   - What? —Oli asked appearing with a bowl of cereal in one hand.

   - Are you eating my Coco Pops? —Louis said angry.

   -No?

   - Okay, whatever. Listen. You can go and tell Calvin and Nizam that I’m going to the trip.

   - Really?

   - You won’t regret, Lou. This is going to be the best trip ever! —Oli said putting down the bowl and grabbing his phone.

   - What makes you change your mind? —Lottie asked.

   - Luke —Louis answered eating the bowl of cereals that Oli left.

   - Okay — she said with a smiley face.

   - What? Why are you smiling?

   - Oh, nothing.

Louis left and went out into the garden. He lighted a cigarette and started thinking if he had made the right choice. He really wasn’t in the mood for partying but he couldn’t leave the lads all by themselves, could he? Also, if he didn’t go to that trip, Calvin probably was going to talk about it for the rest of their lives. So he would go, but in a chill mood, only drinking a little and relaxing in the swimming pool.

 

***          *          ***

 

   - Come on, lad! We’re going to lose the plane! — Louis shouted from downstairs.

   - I can’t find my Adidas cap —Calvin answered also shouting.

   - I’ll lend you mine — Louis would say anything to leave to the airport right now.

   - I am ready — Calvin said running downstairs.

   - Let’s go.

   - Best trip ever! — shouted Calvin really excited.

They let Oli the driving thing while Louis was completely relaxed in the co driver seat listening to Arctic Monkeys and Calvin was looking at his phone in the back seat. No one talk till they arrive at the airport.

   - So, I just read that the best wines are in Greece —Calvin said looking at his phone one guide of things to do in Mykonos

   - Wines? Who are you? We’re going to drink beer, right Lou?

   - Eh, yes —Louis answered but he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, actually.

   - You said yes? I think you didn’t want to drink in this trip — Calvin asked.

   - I said that? When I said no to a good beer?

   - Actually, I was talking about wine.

   - Oh, come on, Cal, we do not have 60 years old!

   - Here you have your passports, sir — the woman in the check-in point said cutting off the conversation.

   - Thank you — Louis showed his best smile to the woman. — Come on, lads!

   - Best trip ever! — shouted Calvin who didn’t stop telling that in the past few days.

   - Okay, so why are you so excited, Cal? What are we gonna do in Mykonos exactly? — Louis said while they were waiting in the queue of the security control.

   - You didn’t read the planner? — Calvin exclaimed and seemed offended.

   - Oh my God!

   - What? What have I said?

   - Nothing, you just didn’t read the week planner. Calvin sent like 300 messages asking us to read it in the WhatsApp group — Oli said slowly only for Louis to listen.

   - Oh, I see. I have the group muted.

   - You, betrayer! — Oli exclaimed now.

   -  Okay, you two, calm down. We’re in public and I don’t want to start a drama and then someone recognize me — Louis whispered.

   - I am sorry but you must read the week planner in the plane.

   - Yes, whatever. It is only going to be another partying in a beautiful place trip, like when we were to Bali, isn’t it?

   - Oh, for God sake Louis Tomlinson, it’s going to be the BEST TRIP EVER! —Calvin said shouting. This idiot!

   - Sh!! — Louis said putting one of his fingers on his lips and Oli started to laugh so the three of them laughed too.

 

   - What it’s so funny? —someone else asked and the guys frozen. Oh my God, what Louis didn’t want is to have to deal with unknown people in those days. He turned around waiting for a fan but fortunately it was Nizam, and Luke.

   - Oh, nothing, just Calvin and his stupid week planner — Louis answered and said hi to the guys.

   - Louis, how you dare to not read that? — Nizam said with sarcasm and it made Louis laugh and Calvin was about to reply but the voice through the speaker interrupt him. It was departure time.

 

***          *          ***

 

The travel was quite good. Louis was sit next to Oli who fall asleep immediately after the plane take off. So Louis had to entertain himself. He read a little of one of his books in his Iphone but was a little dizzy so try to fall asleep as well. The next thing he knew was that they’ve already landed. Louis felt a bit better and excited maybe because the nap. Watching the lads happy while they were waiting for the suitcases made him feel happy too. Maybe this trip won’t be as bad as he was thinking.

Once they picked up the suitcase, they went to the car renting place. There was a man who attended them very kindly. He gave the car keys to Louis and in regards he gave him the credit card number. When they were finished, he thrown out the keys to Calvin. 

   - You drive, planner boy.

   - Shall we go to the hotel? — Calvin asked and all of them agreed because obviously, they had to leave the suitcase somewhere.

 

***          *          ***

 

Louis was lying in the bed of their suit. Oli, Calvin and he were sharing the suit room that was pure luxury. There was a big sofa with a coffee table and a TV in the middle of the room. Near the sofa, there was a bar with plenty with drinks and alcohol. Finally, the room had a big balcony from where they had really fantastic views. In fact, the first thing that Louis did when he came into the room was going outside in the balcony to smoke one cigarette but he was surprised by the beautiful views. From their balcony they could see the entire beach and the little houses with the blue roof. One of the most beautiful cities he had ever seen. There was also a bathroom with a jacuzzi and finally the private rooms.

   - So what says your planner that we should do? — Louis asked Calvin with a sarcastic tone in his voice while he entered again in the main room.

   - I propose to go down to the town and see a little of the houses and make some sightseeing. This town is beautiful.

   - Yes, it’s okay. So, come on, Oli, move your ass from that sofa.

While they were going out from the room to meet the rest of the boys in the hall, Louis was texting her sister to let her know that they’d arrived safe and sound. Lottie replied with some suggestion of what to do since she had already been there. But Louis didn’t pay attention to it, he didn’t want to ruin Calvin’s planning. So, he just followed the guys till the hall where he saw Nizam and Luke were waiting for them.

   - Okay, I think we shouldn’t take the car in case we drink and can’t drive back here — Calvin suggested.

   - I am not going to drink — Louis said quickly.

   - Me neither — Luka added.

   - Well, then Luke, you should drive us back to the hotel.

   - Why not me?

   - Lou, we’re not going to have this conversation right now. Let’s go — Calvin said and started walking to the main door of the hotel.

   - What that supposes to mean, eh, you little shit?

   - Oh, I almost forgot. First of all, we have to take a selfie — Calvin said very excited and the other guys protested but finally ended up taking it anyway. — Say best trip ever!

   - Don’t you think of posting it anywhere! — Louis ordered.

   - I won’t. Can you just chill? And let’s enjoy the Santorini — Calvin shouted making dramatic gestures with the hands.

They had a little fight about where to sit in the car. Calvin was the one driving and Nizam took the codriver seat. So Louis, Oli and Luke were in the back seat. One the thing that Louis hated the most of being a small guy was that he always had to sit in the back seat and the worst in the middle.  Therefore, he was in the middle of Oli and Luke. He didn’t care about Oli cause he was as tiny as him but Luke was so big and muscular that he left not too much space to Louis. However, instead of feeling awkward by the proximity of his friend, he felt a new feeling that he only felt one time before with only one person: the feeling like home. Louis was a little confused and he thought it was the heat the one making him think thing like that.

Harry and Louis had the most beautiful love history of the world but suddenly Harry decided that their relationship wasn’t going well. That was three weeks ago. Louis kept replaying the whole breakup scene in his head again and again since that happened. Most of the times, when he thought about that he felt sorrow, other times angry but right now he felt emptiness. He still couldn’t understand why Harry made that decision.  According to the curly boy, he can’t carry on with their relationship and all the fake girlfriends and stuff. That wasn’t a good argument for Louis. They had held on with that shit for seven years and suddenly Harry can’t anymore. Come on! Sometimes, Louis thought Harry had met someone new, but he spoke with Anne about that and she denied it. So Louis couldn’t understand. It was true that he was still caught in the Simon’s claws with Eleanor, the baby and stuff but if Harry didn’t care about that in 2015 or 2016 why now? Maybe he just wanted to be free and came out. Louis couldn’t take that away for him so he just gave up. Harry and he broke up and he was trying to forget him in the best way he knew: with the help of his friends. So instead of thinking more about Harry, Louis shook his head and tried to focus in the conversation that the guys were having.

   - How much it left? — Oli asked in that moment.

   - Five minutes, I think.

   - And what are we going to do there?

   - Just sightseeing, you know, walk around the streets and see the views.

   - But after that we’re going to eat, right?

   - Yes — Calvin answered clearly exasperated by Oli’s questions.

   - Okay, I want to eat a good burger — Oli said and immediately Louis laughed. All of them looked at him like if he was crazy, but Louis can’t stop laughing. They were all men near the 30’s but they were there acting like children in a school trip.

   - Why are you laughing? — Luke asked.

   - It’s just that Oli looked like he was five with all those questions — Louis answered and made Luke laughed too. Luke had a really beautiful smile.

   - How you dare, Louis! — Oli screamed a little bit mad and pinched Louis’s belly. That made Louis squirm and approach to Luke.

   - Children, please, behave! — Calvin said with a big smile in his face. — Also, we have arrived.

   - Finally! — Louis said pushing Oli out of the car.

Louis was finally able to walk again. He took a deep breath and the fresh air felt so good for him. They were in the middle of a narrow street. All around them was really beautiful. The white house with their blue roof and the decoration with flower all were perfect. The weather was really nice too, not too much heat. The sky was completely blue. Everything seemed to be okay.

They started walking. Oli and Calvin were in front of them. Calvin wanted Oli to make some photos of him. So Louis and the others were walking slowly. The feeling of has nothing important or planned to do was really nice. Louis felt freed somehow with nothing to worry about and nobody to tell him what to do. There was no cameras, no paps, only he being himself watching his friends doing silly things and having stupid and normal conversations.

   - So, if we go straight, we must be in the main square — Calvin said making gestures with the hand.

   - Okay — Louis answered and started walking a little bit faster to reach Calvin.

They were walking for ten or fifteen minutes but finally they found the square Calvin was talking about. Passed by some beautiful street, but the square was so pretty. From where they were, they could see the entire city and it was completely amazing. The middle of the square was a really noisy place with a lot of tourist taking pictures and talking but it made it special somehow. Louis was right that was one of the most beautiful cities he had been in.

   - Come on, lads! We still have to go to that church — Calvin said while he finished taking some picture.

   - No way! We have to go up there? — Louis asked.

   - Yes, lazy. Let’s go.

   - Oh my God, why is he so excited? It’s like climbing a fucking mountain — Louis asked to the other boys.

   - Don’t be dramatic, Louis — Luke said.

   - I am not dramatic. That church is like 200 kms away.

   - You’re a drama queen. It’s not that far — Luke said laughing. — I can give you a piggy back ride, if you’re tired.

   - I am not five, Luke — Louis said a little angry but blushing with the idea.

   - Then, stop complaining and start walking.

   - Yes, daddy.

Shit! Louis couldn’t believe he said that out loud. Fortunately, Luke didn’t pay attention to that comment. What the hell he was thinking? First, he felt comfortable being close with Luke, and now this. He had been completely alone and single for three weeks. He just needed a man, someone to have sex with. And, honestly, Luke was the most handsome of his friends. But no, he would never do that, not with Louis. And Louis didn’t want that either, did him?

Louis tried to focus on the present, no overthinking about Harry, Luke or any other men. It was his time to be single after a seven years relationship. This was a lads trip not a trip for being thinking weird things. So he tried to pay attention at the nice weather, the atmosphere there. Louis was listening carefully Calvin talking about what they will be doing this night and asking Nizam advice of what to wear. Oli was talking with Luke telling him something about his girlfriend. So Louis decided to enter in Calvin’s conversation, it was safer.

   - Didn’t you want my Adidas cap?

   - Yes, but not for the club tonight, Louis.

   - Oh, yeah — Louis laughed sometimes he forgot how much Calvin cared about his appearance.

   - Anyway, you’ve been so quite, Louis. Thinking about something in particular?

   - Oh God, Cal, we’re not having this conversation now.

   - Okay, sorry. What do you wanna talk about?

   - I don’t know. Music?

   - So remember the Arctic Monkeys’ concert we went in June.It was the best. We should go to small festival more often.

   - Yes, we should but I’ve always wanted to go to the Roskilde maybe we should go next year.

   - If you’re not on tour.

   - I wish I were on tour but I don’t think so with all the X Factor shit right now.

   - Happy convo, remember?

   - Yes, sorry.

   - It’s okay, Lou. Don’t worry. Everything is gonna be okay.

   - I know. It’s just... — Louis couldn’t continue talking. Shit. He thought talking to Calvin would distract him but instead made him think in shitty things.

   - Harry?

   - I said that we’re not having this conversation!

   - Okay, sorry, mate.

   - Don’t worry. It’s that ... Maybe he was right and all around me is so shitty. I could never be able to have a real relationship, you know?

   - Don’t say that, Louis. If he left you just because that, he’s and idiot.

   - If you say so.

   - Yes, and now. Here. Have — Calvin said while offering him a milk chocolate candy bar.

   - I am not a child.

   - No, you’re a teenager with a broken heart and the only way I know to fix that is with chocolate and alcohol.

   - Give me alcohol, then.

   - No, till we arrive to the church.

   - Okay, then we have to walk faster.

After a very long walked, they finally arrived to the church. Louis had to admit that the walk was worth it. The church was beautiful, but the most amazing thing was the views. From there they could watch all the sea around the island. He wasn’t able to tell apart where the sea finishes and the sky started. All around him was so blue and beautiful. It looked like a photo from a heavenly island. Also, Louis reminded that he still have to watch Mamma Mia 2. That island was really beautiful, no doubt why all the people want to go there. Louis took a few pictures for showing it later to his siblings. While the boys were taking selfies, he walked around the place. Louis found a street different from the one they took to reach up there. The street was full of steps. It looked like if you go down to the steps, you will end up in the sea. Louis took a deep breath leaving blank mind. No thinking about anything only him enjoying the views.  He felt like if he was on the middle of the world, near to the sea and the sky at the same time. It was all so fucking beautiful.

   - Amazing, isn’t it? —Luke asked standing behind Louis.

   - Yes, it’s so beautiful.

   - You know? The sea always reminds me of the colour of your eyes.

What the fuck was that? Was Luke trying to flirt with him? Louis couldn’t believe that he just said that. Okay, he wouldn’t take it as personal. Maybe he wasn’t meaning anything by saying that. Louis had a really blue eyes, everybody told him that. But you don’t think about Louis’ eyes with those views in front on you, unless... No. Definitely, no. Louis hated his brain for having those thoughts. They were only friends. Also as far as he was concerned Luke was straight. So, he probably said that only to be kind. Everybody knew that Louis was a little upset in the past few weeks. So he was only being kind. Yes, that was the reason. Louis tried to convince himself about that and don’t think too much. He just ignored that comment.

   - Hey, you two! Shall we go down? It’s almost dinner time — Calvin shouted at them.

   - Sure — Louis said starting walking to where Calvin was. He thanked God for let Calvin interrupted their conversation.   

They started walking down by the same street they went up there. Louis hurried up to put himself in the middle of Calvin and Oli. He really didn’t want or know how to talk to Luke right after that. So he started talking with the others boys about anything. After 30 minutes of walking, they were finally again in the car. Louis enjoyed the walk down trying not to think about anything. They stopped in some souvenirs shops and buy some stuff for their families. Once in the car, Louis almost forced Oli to sit in the middle seat. He couldn’t be around Luke right now without acting awkward.  

The trip back to the hotel was nice. The boys were talking about what to eat once they arrived. Calvin was also giving some details about the disco of the hotel. All of them were enjoying a normal and trivial conversation. Before Louis could realise, they were already parking in front of the hotel. So they decided to go to their rooms to rest a little and have a shower. They would reunite again in the hall in 30 minutes.

Louis was the first once in the shower. He was just there letting the water going around his body. Once he was finished, he found the lads eating some potato chips and drinking some beers, while they were trying to turn on the TV.

   - Where do you take that beer from? — Louis asked.

   - From there — Oli answered pointing at the bar that was in the room.

   - Oh, of course — he said while he went to the bar and took a beer from the mini fridge.

   - So, it’s my turn to take a shower — Oli said disappearing after the bathroom door.

   - What do you think about this? — Louis asked showing Calvin his outfit.

   - Hey, mate, can we talk?

   - What’s up, Lou?

   - I don’t know. It’s just Luke. Do you think he has a girlfriend? — Louis asked carefully not knowing if he was going to regret making that question.

   - He’s single. What are you asking?

   - Nothing — Louis lied. He wasn’t sure about telling Calvin or not. Maybe Calvin would misunderstood the situation or create a drama. And Louis didn’t want that.

   - Come on, Louis! I know you. Something it’s happening.

   - I am going to tell you but with two conditions. One, you can’t tell anybody else. And two, you can’t overreact, okay?

   - I won’t.

   - So, this is the thing — Louis said softly in case Oli was listening. — Up there, in the church, Luke told me that the sea reminded him of my eyes.

   - That’s true. You have very beautiful eyes.

   - But you have blue eyes too and he didn’t tell you that. Also have you ever seen him with a serious girlfriend?

   - No, but that doesn’t mean anything.

   - And I don’t want it to mean anything. It’s just that I am confused, Cal, and need to forget Harry somehow.

   - In that case, maybe Luke it’s a good option.

   - Yes, he is. Have you seen his arms?

   - Oh Louis, for God sake.

   - What? He has beautiful arms. I like his body shape. He’s so hot.

   - Okay, so you think about your friend in that way?

   - I could find a friend of mine attractive. That doesn’t mean I find all my friends attractive, Cal. I already told you I am not attracted to all men.

   - I know that, it’s just I thought you only see Luke as a friend.

   - That was I thought too, till today. Maybe he could be more than that.

   - So what are you going to do?

   - I don’t know. Should I flirt with him?

   - Oh my God! You’re Louis Tomlinson. You don’t need to flirt. Every man, straight or gay, would fall in love with you.

   - Don’t be exaggerated, Calvin! — Louis said laughing.

   - It’s true. And since I am your best friend and love adviser, I tell you to go for him. He would fall in love with you in the moment he see your smile and your ass.

   - Calvin! — he shouted clearly embarrassed.

   - It’s true.

   - Yes, but I can’t believe you think my best features are my smile and my ass.

   - Everybody thinks that, Lou.

   - Think what? — Oli asked going out of the bathroom.

   - Nothing — Louis said.

   - Okay, I am going to take a shower now. Louis, maybe you should change your trousers for a more adjusted ones — Calvin said going to the bathroom.

   - What? — Louis and Oli asked at the same time.

   - You know what I mean — Calvin said with a sassy smile.

 Louis started to regret telling Calvin about his possibly crush in Luke. But he decided to take his advice and went to his room. Louis opened his suitcase and looked for the most beautiful clothes he had. Shit! This was a lads trip, therefore he hadn’t brought any clothes that made him seem decent.  He changed his basic black T-shirt for another one without sleeves. The fans love that when Louis wore that kind of T-shirt back in 2015, so maybe Luke loves that too. Also he changed his track pants for a blue jeans but not skinny. Louis didn’t like skinny jeans.  He felt more release with track pants but for one day he was wearing jeans again. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was good looking. The new outfit was simple but Louis thought it made his best features highlight.

He went back to the main room and prayed for no questions from Oli. Fortunately, he was talking on the phone so he didn’t have the chance to say something. Louis sat down in the sofa and continued drinking his beer. He started looking at his phone. Clearly he needed something to distract himself from his own thoughts. Fortunately, Calvin came out of the shower quickly so he could talk to him about clothes stuff. Calvin was showing Louis some outfits and he helped him choosing one of them. After that the three of them were ready and decided to go down to the hotel hall.

They were waiting for Luke and Nizam and Louis was so nervous. It was a new feeling for him. He gained a lot of confidence in the past two years. But there he was nervous like if he was 18. The problem was that he had never expected to flirt with someone since that age. All this time he was with Harry so he had no need to like other men or flirt with them. This was his first time flirting with someone. The problem was that the someone was one of his best friends. However, Louis wasn’t really sure if he will dare to talk to Luke or not. He didn’t know if he was ready. So he tried not to think about that and just let the things go.

The five of them started walking through the hall to go to the restaurant of the hotel. They had a table waiting for them there. Louis was in the presiding chair, Calvin and Oli in both of his sides. They ordered some snacks and also a lot of beer. Calvin protested because he wanted wine but they convinced him to drink beer. The chat and the food were nice, so it was easy for Louis to have a good time. After that they ordered some food. Louis asked for pasta and it tasted really good.

Once they were finished, they went outside. In the hotel garden, near to the pool there was a dance floor and a bar. They ordered a few drinks and sat down in one sofa. The decoration in that garden was really beautiful with a lot of lights and flowers. That was a really chilling atmosphere.

   - You’re drinking, eh? — Oli asked Louis.

   - Yes, it’s only one pint.

   - Do what you want.

   - I will — Louis said.

He got up and ordered more drinks. Luke hadn’t made eye contact or talked to him in all the night. And there were a really cute couple of two men dancing in the dance floor. One of them was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. It reminded him of Harry. Shit! The sad feeling was ruining Louis’ mood. So instead of ordering beer he ordered some tequila shoots and drank two of them before going back with the lads. Louis came to this trip with the purpose of not drinking and now he felt so empty and lonely that he only wanted to get drunk and wasted. It was the only way to feel a little of happiness. Everybody around him was laughing or dancing, all of the people were happy and he felt so lost and empty. So he was going to drink a lot cause it didn’t matter anyway.

After three more shots and two pints, Louis was feeling dizzy but happy. He laughed for anything and wanted to move. So he decided to go to the dance floor. Only Calvin, as wasted as him, followed him. The two of them was dancing when suddenly Calvin fell in the pool. Louis can’t stop laughing seeing his friend like that. Calvin was laughing too and trying to get out of there.

He continued dancing till one specific song started playing. It wasn’t the best song ever but it made Louis wanting to dance more and more. “Fuego” by Eleni Foureira started playing. Louis was a big fan of the Eurovision contest so he really liked that song back in May. After a few more shots, he was so drunk that stepped up in the table and started dancing up there. He really felt like a dancing queen. In that moment, Louis realised something. There was someone yelling at him. It was Luke who was standing next to the table.

   - Lou, get down!

   - You know we’re in Greece and this song was representing Greece in Eurovision? — Louis asked paying no attention at what Luke was screaming.

   - It represented Cyprus, actually — Luke said offering his hand at him for getting down to the table. — Can you please get down now?

   - Why you are so smart and handsome? It’s not fair.

   - What are you talking about, Louis?

   - You! You’re so handsome you don’t even notice the effect you have in other people.

   - What? — Luke asked clearly confused.

   - You’re so pretty and muscular — Louis continued saying. Actually, the alcohol was talking for him and making him continue dancing. Louis was so drunk and dizzy but still dancing till he put a feet outside the table and fell down.

Fortunately, he didn’t’ fell to the ground, he fell in Luke’s arms. Luke’s body irradiate heat but Louis liked it. He grabbed Luke’s arms with his tiny hands. His arms were really muscular and strong. Louis really liked that. He put his head on Luke’s chest trying to fight against the sickness.

   - Why is everything moving? — he asked.

   - Okay, I am going to carry you to your room — Luke said and started walking with Louis in his arms.

   - No, I want to party. And dance.

   - You had enough of that.

Luke carried Louis on his arms till the hotel elevator and left him in the floor there. Louis made a disgusting face. Luke’s arms were one of the most comfortable places in the world. They were in silent till they arrived to the last floor. Luke entered Louis key in the door for him because Louis was so drunk for doing it himself.  They entered in the room and Luke pushed Louis to his bed. Louis was still protesting and saying that he wanted to dance. But, honestly, if it wasn’t for Luke, he couldn’t even stand up. So Luke thought that the best thing for him was to lay Louis on the bed. Finally, Louis stayed quite in the bed, not moving or saying anything, just breathing deeply.

   - I’ll bring you some water — Luke offered. He didn’t know if Louis wanted him to stay or not.

   - Thank you.

Luke went out to the main room and looked for a bottle of water in the fridge. There were a lot of beers but he could find some water. He went back to Louis’ room. Despite of how bad and sweaty Louis looked, he was a truly angel. The most beautiful creature alive, if you asked Luke.

   - Here you go — Luke said giving Louis the bottle. Louis drank it quickly and Luke felt awkward. He didn’t know what to do next.

   - I want you to lay here with me, please — Louis said patting the empty side of the bed.— Your arms are more comfortable that this pillow.

   - Okay — Luke said blushing. He laid down in the bed and Louis immediately got close to him. Louis was like a kitten. And Luke really liked the proximity with Louis. So he hugged Louis.

   - I think I like you — Louis said.

   - What? — Luke asked surprised. He blinked twice and looked at Louis straight in his face. He couldn’t believe that Louis said that.

   - I know that you don’t like me and you probably have a girlfriend you’d never tell me about but I like y...

Louis wasn’t able to finish his sentence; instead he felt something soft and hot pressing against his lips. It took a while for Louis to recognise that it was Luke’s lips. He was really wasted and couldn’t believe that was happening. But the reality was that Luke was kissing him. Luke’s lips were much better than what Louis thought, all fleshy and soft. It really turned him up. Louis continued with the kissing wanting to get closer and closer with Luke. Louis felt Luke’s tongue inside his mouth and it made him feel hornier. So, Louis decided to get on top of Luke. In that position Louis could feel Luke’s dick as hard as his own dick. They continued with the passionate kisses but Louis felt exhausted. He took a little of distance to could breath.

   -  We shouldn’t be doing this in your state — Luke said.

   - Don’t be a killjoy, Lukey — Louis replied trying to kiss him again.

   - I really like you, Lou, and I don’t want to rush things with you. I want you to be sober when we first make out — Luke said giving Louis a soft kiss.

   - Where have you been all this time? — Louis asked feeling really happy and comfortable around Luke’s arms. He hadn’t felt that way in a really long time.

   - Waiting for you to realise I was here dying for you.

   - What do you mean, Luke? — Louis asked surprised.

   - I like you since I can’t remember when and I was just there hoping you to realise that because I didn’t know what to do.

   - You’re an idiot — Louis said really happy with that brand new information.

   - Yes, but you love me?

    - Of course. I love you — Louis answered while he snuggled himself around Luke and slowly falling asleep being the happiest person of the world. That was really the best trip ever.

      


	2. Whole world in my right hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the chapter two. I wasn't really sure about continuing writing but a couple of people left kudos and that made me want to continue the story. I hope you'all like this chapter and please let me know in the comments. Also I don't know when I would upload another chapter but luckily it will be next week.   
> Love you'all and please stay safe and strong.

Louis just woke up with a terrible headache. It took a minute to remember everything that happened the day before. For a while, he couldn’t even remember he wasn’t in London but in Mykonos instead. He drank so much last night. He knew he shouldn’t drink that much but it was an especial occasion. At least that was the excuse he made for himself. Last night he was so sad about his breakup with Harry so he drank, drank and kept drinking till. Fuck! He was so drunk he barely remembered Luke carrying him to his room and then falling asleep in his arms. But if he was asleep in Luke arms, did he also confess his feelings? Of course he did. Louis couldn’t believe he was so stupid and drunk to tell Luke everything. The worst thing was that he couldn’t remember Luke’s reaction. Did he reject him? Or did he feel the same? Impossible! Luke was straight, wasn’t he? Anyway, Luke wasn’t in the bed or in the room with Louis so he probably left last night. And probably left because he didn’t know how to say he wasn’t in love with Louis without hurting his feelings.

Louis was regretting all the bad decision he made last night while he was walking through the main room. He was into his own thoughts that didn’t realise that there were people in the sofa. He only wanted to take a shower and eat something. The best cures against hangover.

— Hey, Louis! — Oli said moving his hand to catch Louis’ attention.  
— Good morning.  
— You mean, afternoon.  
— What?  
— Yeah, it’s half past twelve.  
— Oh my God! I’ve slept so much. Calvin is probably mad at me.  
— Oh, don’t worry about him. He was as drunk as you. He woke up this morning with a terrible hangover and cancelled all the plans for today.  
— Oh, perfect. So I could nap all day.  
— All plans minus one.  
— Oh, no! That Rodgers.  
— Anyway, we’re leaving in thirty minutes.  
— Okay. I’ll go and take a shower then.  
— Okay — Oli said and continuing watching the TV.

Louis entered in the shower and let the cold water run through his body. Cold water was really good for the hangover. He felt a little better after that. Also drinking a whole bottle of water and eating two candy bars helped. He went back to his room. While he was looking in his suitcase for a new outfit, he saw his phone in one side of the bed. It probably fall out of his pocket last night. Louis grabbed his phone thinking about calling Calvin and asking him for the best outfit for today’s plan. Instead of doing that, he just checked the notifications. One in particular caught his attention. It was a message from Luke. Louis’ mood changed completely. He was so nervous before opening the chat that almost dropped his phone. “Sorry for leaving this morning” That was what the message said. Oh God! Louis didn’t know what to do. So Luke didn’t leave after he fall asleep he stayed all night and let him being in his arms. That’s love, isn’t it? And the most important thing was that he didn’t want to leave that morning. He wanted to stay with Louis. Suddenly, Louis forgot how to breathe. He didn’t know what to do with that new information. He declared to Luke last night and Luke felt the same. He couldn’t believe that was happening.

Louis was completely freaking out when he heard Calvin walking into the main room saying some shit about a boat. He knew that was a lad’s trip but he only could think about meeting with Luke immediately. He needed to know what he was doing, what he was thinking, if he wanted to do something with Louis, if it was only a one night thing, if he told to anyone. He desperately needed to talk with Luke about everything. But instead of that, he left his room and said hi to Calvin and asked him about that day plan searching for a chance of being alone with Luke.

— Glad you’re awake, Louis — Calvin said greeting him with a hand move.  
— Yeah. How his possible you’re so energetic after last night?  
— Red bull.  
— Of course — Louis said and immediately search for one red bull’s can in the room. — I was wondering what are today’s plans, Cal?  
— Oh, you’re gonna love it.  
— I don’t know.  
— Why? You didn’t hear it yet — Calvin said and seemed upset.  
— I had a terrible headache — Louis lied not telling him that the real reason was that he wanted to be with Luke alone.  
— Oh, don’t worry about that. Today’s plan is a chill one.  
— Okay, but what is?  
— A boat trip!  
— What?  
— Yeah, we’re going to eat on a boat and travel around the islands. It’s going to be beautiful! — Calvin said super excited.  
— If you say so.  
— What’s wrong, Louis? Did something happen last night? — Calvin asked and now he seemed truly worry about him.  
— No. Nothing especial. I just came into my room and fall asleep shortly after you fall into the pool — Louis lied again not knowing if he could tell anyone about him and Luke. Although Calvin was a smart guy and he already told him something about his feelings so he would take no time for Calvin to think that something happened between the two of them.  
— Ah, okay. I was just thinking maybe something else happened. You know what I mean.  
— No, I don’t know what you mean. And nothing else happened so stop talking and tell me if I should wear a swimming suit or not.  
— Yeah, defo. I think we can swim near the boat.  
— Okay. I am going to change my clothes.  
— Okay — Calvin said and followed Louis into his room so Oli couldn’t hear them. — And if you wanna talk about something, I’m always here, you know that.  
— Yeah, I know. Thank you. And now leave unless you wanna see my beautiful ass — Louis said and both of them laughed.

* * *

An hour later they were in the beach. They met Luke and Nizam in the hotel hall but Louis wasn’t able to make eye contact with Luke. He was still remembering last night. And also he didn’t know what to tell to Luke. Therefore, he just travelled in completely silence. Luke wasn’t speaking either. Only Oli and Calvin were chatting about some absurd topics. They arrived at the beach and waited in the dock for a while. Louis hadn’t said a word yet, but he started to get impatient.

— Where is your guy, Rodgers? — Louis asked tired of waiting.  
— He should be here in any moment.  
— Okay — Louis said and stayed quiet because he didn’t want to start a fight. — Hope it’s soon because I need to be covered. Can’t handle this wind.  
— Yeah, yeah, don’t worry — Calvin said trying to calm him down. — Here he comes!  
— Finally! — Louis said and the entire group started moving.  
— Hello — said the man with a strong accent. Clearly he wasn’t British.  
— Hey. Can we get in the boat now? — Louis asked.  
— Yeah, sure.  
— Perfect.  
— Actually ... — Luke interrupted. — I was wondering if it is safe navigate with this wind.  
— Oh, don’t worry, big guy. The wind is only on the shore — the man answered and laughed patting Luke’s back.

Louis was already in his way to the boat but couldn’t help laughing at Luke. He was so big and muscular but always so caring and soft. Louis’ laugh caught Luke’s attention and looked at him. It was the first time they made eye contact since whatever happened last night. Louis was sure he blushed so he turned his back. He couldn’t believe that around Luke he turned himself into a teenager again. Maybe it was because he couldn’t guess Luke’s feelings for him. Anyway, Louis was already in the boat and all the lads and the man were on their way.

Louis really liked boats. It remembered him of his 1D times with Liam teaching him how to fish or smoking with Zayn because he didn’t know how to swim. He left out all the memories related with Harry. He didn’t want that to ruin his day. Instead of focusing of the past he had the chance of creating new memories with his friends. The man was in charge of the boat and they only had to relax in the ship deck. There was a chilling zone there with three sofas and a coffee table. The white sofas were really comfortable. Louis sit next to Oli. And Calvin appeared of nowhere with some lunch boxes and drinks. Thank God, because Louis was starving but it was a little bit earlier to drink and after last night he didn’t think drinking alcohol again was a good idea. Calvin just sit next to Nizam and all of them started eating and chatting about some stupid thing they did last night. He couldn’t remember anything but he was having some flashback hearing his friends’ stories.

— And then Louis stepped up in the table — Oli said and all of them laughed.  
— Wait! When? I can’t remember anything — Louis asked surprised.  
— I don’t know when but you were dancing upside a table. You were so drunk I can’t explain how you didn’t fall — Oli answered and all the memories came to Louis’ mind all of sudden. He dancing in the table. Luke yelling at him to go down. Louis falling into Luke’s arms. Luke carrying him to his hotel room. They kissing in the bed. Shit! So it was all real, ¿uh?  
— I think he did fall out.  
— Anyway. Who wants to go to swim? — Louis said cutting the conversation. He didn’t want the lads to remember him and Luke leaving the party together.

Louis didn’t wait for an answer. He just stood up and take off his T-shirt, cap and sunglasses. He was so embarrassed because he didn’t want their friends to find out about last night and judge him. They knew about him and Harry but he wasn’t sure if the most of them accepted that he was gay. And Harry was a stranger for the most of them, but if something could happen with Luke, he didn’t know how they were going to react. He really wanted to think that his friends would accept him being how he really was but he wasn’t sure. Sometimes some of his friends made little homophobic comment. The only one he could trust was Calvin and Luke. Louis didn’t really want to think about that in that moment. So he just jumped into the sea.

The water was colder than what he expected but he didn’t care. He preferred cold water than an awkward conversation with the lads. After a few minutes Louis was really enjoying the sea. It was ages since he last swim in the sea. All was so peaceful and chill there around him. He could literally close his eyes and float over his back, with the sun in his face. It was an amazing feeling. No a sound to interrupt or a problem to worry about. It was just peaceful. But there were his friends, of course, to take this feeling away. Calvin and Oli interrupted his precious moment swimming and splashing out near to him. He wasn’t going to let them get away with that. So Louis sassy mood was activated. He approached Calvin without being notice and grabbed his legs making Calvin sank into the water. He was laughing so much but there was revenge. Finally, the three of them started a water fight.

After a good time trying to avoid swallowing sea water, he decided he needed a rest and went back to the boat. He grabbed a towel and putted it around his shoulders. He was going to light a cigarette when he saw Luke. Luke was lying on his back, without T-shirt. He was sunbathing. But, oh Mamma! Louis couldn’t help looking at his body. He already knew Luke’s have good arms but his abs was something else. Laying there with the sun making his skin golden Luke looked like an Egyptian God. He was the most handsome men alive. Louis suddenly felt so nervous. He just wanted to lay there next to him and gave him kisses all over his chest and abs. But obviously he couldn’t do that despite he was dying for doing it. Anyway he didn’t even know if Luke was asleep, he seemed to. Louis was having a real struggle inside his head about talking and approaching to Luke or not.

— Was the water good? — Luke asked turning his head into Louis direction.  
— Yeah. You should try it and go to swimming — Louis answered sitting down in a sofa next to where Luke was laying.  
— I don’t think so.  
— Why? Don’t know how to swim, Malak?  
— It’s not that — Luke said embarrassed.  
— So what is it then? — Louis asked laughing at Luke’s blushing.  
— Nothing. Okay? — Luke said and pushed Louis ‘arms. — You’re covering the Sun.  
— I am the Sun — Louis said with a sassy voice and laughed. He noticed how Luke’s was trying not to smile.  
— Okay. So can you, mister Sun, give me some warm? Your shadow is making me feel cold — Luke said normally but Louis was so shocked about that comment. Did he really mean that or was just a way to speak? Because Louis didn’t know what to think or do next.  
— I think I can make you feel hot — Louis said. He was thinking “fuck it all” and he was going to be honest and confront him about everything. He liked Luke so he was going to let him know. Also he was ready to do everything possible to make Luke fall in love with him. — Like last night.  
— What? — Luke said surprised and got up looking Louis right into his eyes. — I think we need to talk.  
— Yeah. I think that too. There are a lot of things going on.  
— But we’re not talking here. Someone could hear us — Luke said and started walking and Louis just followed him.

Louis was so fucking nervous. What had Luke to say? Maybe he was going to deny and regret everything that happened the night before. Or maybe he was going to declare his feelings. Louis didn’t know what option was better. Obviously the second one was the happy one but he didn’t know if he was ready for another relationship, if they could get time to be together. He even wasn’t sure about his feelings for Luke. He liked him, obviously he was the most handsome man alive but did he feel more that simple physical attraction? Louis was so into his own thoughts that he didn’t realise the step to go down in the deck of the ship. So he didn’t step on well and slipped. Louis crashed with Luke back. Luke turned back and laughed. He reached for Louis’ hand. They walked together with Luke holding his right hand.

— If you don’t stop falling, I’ll have to hold you, dumb — Luke said laughing and putted his arm around Louis waist. Louis was blushing and couldn’t believe what was happening. They were walking downstairs holding each other like boyfriends, but Luke was so tall Louis couldn’t even think of reaching Luke’s shoulders.  
— I’m not dumb. I’m just confused — Louis said quietly.  
— Fortunately, we’re going to make our minds up — Luke said while sitting in the bed of the cabin ship.  
— Yeah — Louis said doubting if he should sit next to him or not. He finally decided to remain standing but looking to the ground. He was so blush to make eye contact with Luke. — So ... I wanna know what happened last night?  
— Of course, you don’t remember — Luke said taking a deep breath. — Last night I took you to your room. And ... um I didn’t know what to do till you told me to stay and lie in bed next to you. Then we kissed. So please tell me you did it because you meant it not because you were drunk.  
— I fucking meant it. I am not sure yet but I think I like you.  
— Oh.  
— Please, Luke, say something, for God’s sake! — Louis shouted being all sweaty because of the nervous.  
— I don’t know what to say. I’m struggling.  
— I know but it’s not that difficult: you like me or not; you’re gay or bi or not.  
— Maybe it’s not that difficult for you, but for me it’s. It’s my first time feeling something that deeper and stronger. Do you remember when you fell in love for the first time?  
— Yeah, sorry. You’re right it was so difficult for me to accept my feelings for a boy. But does this mean you have feelings for me?  
— Yes, I have. It is a feeling so intense that I am afraid my heart would explode.  
— Ow, Lukey. That’s beautiful.  
— You’re so beautiful and you deserve all this love and more.  
— Stop it or I’m gonna cry.  
— No, please. Don’t cry, love — Luke said with the softest voice in the world.

Luke reached Louis’ hands and left little kisses around them. Louis got closer with Luke and held his head around his hands. Louis looked a Luke in the eyes for the first time and what he saw warmed his heart. Luke eyes showed love and confident. He was so fucking happy about Luke loving him back. He was the happiest person in the world in that moment. He couldn’t resist it anymore and kissed Luke. They pressed their lips against each other. Louis put his hands on Luke’s naked chest. That was truly an experience. Feeling the heat and the movement of Luke’s muscles while he moved to put Louis closer. It was the best feeling in the world.  
They were kissing and making out. They were so in their own world that didn’t realize the noise of someone coming downstairs. Calvin entered in the cabin and watched them making out. He was so shocked that he dropped a beer can. That noise made Louis and Luke move away immediately.

— I fucking knew it. Oh my Gosh! I am so happy for you two. You’re the most handsome couple out there. Oh God! Louis, I can’t believe you did it — Calvin said so shocked that he couldn’t stop talking.  
— Calvin, shut up! — Louis shouted so embarrassed.  
— Oh, sorry. Was this a secret?  
— We haven’t discussed it yet.  
— I see you were so busy with something else — Calvin said laughing and looking at their erections. — I’ll leave you alone. To talk!  
— Thank you and don’t tell anyone, please — Luke said.  
— So you want to keep this a secret, don’t you? — Louis said sitting on Luke’s lap.  
— Yeah. We don’t have any other options, do we? — Luke asked kissing his neck.  
— No, I guess. I’m with Eleanor publically and I’m straight so we should keep this secret. But I mean with our friends. You don’t wanna tell Oli and the other lads?  
— No. No. No. I don’t mind Oli and your family knowing it because I know they would accept it. But Nizam, Kevin, Richard, the rest of the lads, my parents, I don’t think they would accept it. And I don’t wanna have trouble with them.  
— Okay. Yeah, I feel you — Louis said giving Luke a little kiss and comforting him. But he wasn’t really sure about that he had done so much faking in his life that he didn’t want to pretend with his friends anymore. But Luke was worthy.  
— So, you’re okay with that? With me?  
— Of course, Lukey. I love you.  
— I love you too — Luke said and laughed while kissing him. — Oh my God! I can’t believe I said that after all these years.  
— Years?  
— Yes, years, Louis. I didn’t tell you but since you came out with us I have been feeling something special for you.  
— Oh, I see.  
— Yeah. I did accept my feeling last year at Ultra but last month in the Firefly Festival when I knew I should let you know. And this trip was that moment but fortunately you did it all for me.  
— Yeah, you’re so lucky for having me — Louis said laughing.  
— I truly am. I love you.


	3. I keep on coming back to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you have the chapter 3. First, I have to warn you all about two things: 1) there is smut, probably the worst smut written ever and 2) Ziam makes an appearance. Hope you read it till the end cause I really need to know what do you think about the end note. And please leave a comment cause I'm running out of ideas.

The rest of their lads’ trip was the best trip Louis could have ever imagined. He forgot all the pain about Harry. He focused on discovering the new feelings Luke made him feel. He discovered that Luke was much funnier and less serious that what he thought. Although his appearance, Luke was so soft and romantic. The both of them were extremely careful in the next days of the trip. They managed to have some time alone to kiss and cuddle and doing romantic stuff. Louis was so fucking excited for his new relationship with Luke. Discovering Luke body was a truly experience. Louis couldn’t wait to touch Luke everywhere and discover what places of his body he likes the most to be kissed and touched. But Luke convinced him that they should wait till being back in London just in case. Calvin already knew about their relationship, but Luke was so worried about the others finding it out. So they were just taking it easy. They held hands when no one was looking at them, seated together, and some other little romantic gestures. But the best thing of the entire trip for Louis was that Luke stayed at his room at night. They left the parties the last ones and went to Louis’ room where after their daily doses of cuddles, they fall asleep hugged with Louis’ head resting in Luke chest. Both of them loved that. Louis loved feeling the heat Luke’s chest irradiated and feeling the move of his respiration. Luke loved the smell and the touch of Louis’ hair in his naked chest. That was the best of the day. “It is crazy how love work”, Louis thought. He was in one of the most beautiful cities and island he had ever been but however the best was Luke not the beautiful landscapes. And the worst part was Luke leaving terrible early in the morning because he didn’t want anybody to find out he slept there at night. 

Unfortunately the trips ended four days after the boat thing happened. And Louis had to come back to reality and a lot of work to do. He was going to be a judge on the new X Factor season. He was excited for that. He really always wanted to help other people achieve their dreams. But at the same time it was pretty annoying because he wanted to realise his album. Anyway, he was going to do his best to help new singers. So he started all the press conferences and stuff with a big smile. 

The next four weeks were a fucking mess. He barely had time for lunch. He only went home at night and spent all the day in the X Factor studio. The good thing was that he was able to meet a lot of fans every day. Louis loved that. It was so lovely see dozens of fans per day and knowing they were them to see him. He did his best to meet as much fans as it was possible. But the worst part was that he had no time to spend with his friends or family. He had seen Luke only twice in those two weeks. They fucked in one of those times. Bad idea. Louis was weirdly seated the day after that. He had a little pain in his arse but it was worthy because Luke had the best sex in the world. Anyway, that wasn’t enough for Louis. He wanted to see Luke all the days. Louis tried to convince him to move to his place but Luke thought it was so soon and he wanted to take things easy. 

The good thing about being a judge at X Factor was the judges’ house thing. Louis could literally choose where to celebrate it and he was going to choose a party place obviously. He was so happy lately and wanted to go to some good parties with his friends and the new boys. So he chose Ibiza obviously. One of his happy places in the world. He had been there a lot of times before. They went to Ibiza to celebrate Oli’s birthday last year and they all agreed it was one of the best places for partying. So he would take the boys there. Also Calvin and Oli were going with him. Luke was a little busy working but he promised Louis he was coming to the trip. That trip was going to be fucking amazing. But Louis and Luke should be so much careful because they were going on a trip with Louis’ boys that in the end were completely strangers. 

— We only see each other in party islands, uh? — Luke said arriving to Louis’ room leaving his bag in the floor and going to kiss him.  
— Yeah. I don’t have time lately. Sorry, babe — Louis said hugging Luke.  
— No problem. We have an entire weekend here for ourselves.  
— Or maybe not.  
— What? What are you talking about, Lou? — Luke said looking Louis straight in the eyes.  
— It’s judges’ house, remember? There’re going to be a lot of people around here. The boys. Calvin. Oli. Jordan. Paps. Producers. And ... — Louis said and made a pause separating himself a little of Luke to see his reaction. — Liam and Zayn are coming.  
— WHAT? — Luke said opening his eyes so much. He was clearly impressed.  
— Yeah, well Liam is my invited judge and Zayn is just coming with him — he said softly. — I should tell you before. Sorry, babe.  
— Don’t worry. I’m glad you’re going to pass time with them. I know how much you missed them, especially Zayn. It’s just that I didn’t know that they still talk to each other. Also I was hoping to spend some time alone with you.  
— Yeah, we all really talk to each other much more what the people think. And don’t worry about that, we find some time to spend alone. I want to kiss and make out — Louis said giving Luke a kiss. He had a love/hate relationship with Luke’s height. He loved him being so tall but he hated that because for kissing Luke he had to stand on his tip toes.  
— Okay. Glad to hear that cause I brought a lot of lube.  
— Oh for God’s sake, Luke! — Louis said blushing.  
— What? Shall we use it?  
— Of course — Louis said laughing but still blushed. 

Louis started to kiss Luke pressing his lips against Luke’s mouth. He had missed Luke so much that he was out of control. They had two hours before all the others started to arrive and Louis was going to take advantage of that time even if he can’t sit for the rest of the day. Luke was as excited as Louis and kissed him passionately. Luke’s tongue found his way into Louis’ mouth giving him one of the best kiss in the world. Louis separated himself a little to recover the breath and looked at Luke in the eyes. He was about to asked if they should have sex but Luke’s look said it all. They were so desperate for each other body. Luke just took up Louis and put him in the bed. Louis wrapped Luke’s waist with his tinny legs pushing him closer. Luke was kissing Louis going down from his mouth to his neck. Meanwhile, Louis was trying to get rid of Luke’s T-Shirt.

— Need help with that, babe? — Luke asked and took off his shirt so Louis could finally touch his beautiful and strong muscles that he loved so much.  
— Thank you.  
— You’re welcome — Luke said and continued kissing Louis.  
— Yeah, and you should start doing other things — Louis said carrying Luke’s hand from his hair to his bum. That made Luke laugh but immediately he took one bottle of lube and started touching Louis. 

Louis found so soft the way Luke touched him in that part because Luke was clearly inexperienced and therefore he touched him carefully. Louis had told him what to do and how to have anal sex but Luke was still learning. He was putting one finger inside Louis carefully while kissing him. Louis couldn’t breathe of the excitement. His dick was already so hard so it was time for Luke to be as hard as him. Louis started touching Luke’s dick first softly and then quickly. When both of them were literally screaming of pleasure, Luke took off Louis’ pants and entered inside of him. Louis just loved the view in front of him watching Luke all sweaty and blushed pushing him up inside of him. At first, Luke started to move slowly but then he rushed up. Finally he came inside of Louis, unfortunately they were using condom. Luke was so strictly about that. But the best thing was that after he came, he took Louis’ still hard cock between his hands and put it inside his mouth all the way till Louis came. 

— That was the best sex I’ve had in ages — Luke said resting himself next to Louis in the bed.  
— You’re welcome — Louis said laughing and still trying to recover the breath. — I should go and take a shower.  
— No, please stay — Luke said putting his arms around him.  
— Lukey, my T-shirt is dirty as fuck and we smell so bad. Everybody will notice what happened.  
— Wear my T-shirt. It’s clean, though  
— Yeah, but that doesn’t fix the smell problem.  
— So should we take our first shower together?  
— How you’re not tired!  
— I could do this all day, baby — Luke said and Louis laughed pushing him to the shower. 

They fucked a second time in the shower. Louis legs did hurt a lot but it was worthy. That was the best sex in his life because Luke was so careful and soft but at the same time so hot and wild. The best thing of having sex with Luke was that he worried more about Louis’ pleasure that his. So Louis just came twice in less than an hour.  
Two hours later, Louis left their room to go and greet Calvin, Oli and the X Factor’s boys. He was trying to walk and act normally but his brain was still stocked in what happened before, still a little turned on. 

— This is your house, boys. I’ll leave you completely free to do whatever you want in here — Louis said saying goodbye for now to the boys. — And we’re staying in that one behind the pool.  
— Okay. Cool — Oli said and just went to investigate the house.  
— It’s that Luke ... — Calvin started to say but Louis put his hands in Calvin’s mouth.  
— What?  
— Definitely, that’s Luke’s T-shirt.  
— Yeah, and what? — Louis said hugging himself. Wearing Luke’s clothes was one of the best pleasures in the world but they didn’t fit him really well.  
— Oh my God! You two have fucked, haven’t you? — Calvin said all excited.  
— It’s no of your business — Louis said blushing.  
— You fucked! — Calvin shouted like if that was the best new ever.  
— Cal, please.  
— Sorry but I’m so glad for you. You have to tell me everything. Is he as good in sex as he looks?  
— What the hell do you think that of Luke? — Louis asked surprised in a mix of angry and funny.  
— I don’t know I’m just curious.  
— Well, find you your own man to figure it out.  
— Okay, okay, Lou.  
— What’s going on, lads? — Luke said arriving and saving the conversation.  
— Nothing, right Calvin? — Louis said giving his friends a poke. He was afraid that maybe Calvin could say something inappropriate.  
— Yeah, nothing. I should go and see my room.  
— Yeah. Bye.  
— What happened, babe? — Luke asked after he left putting his hand around Louis’ tummy.  
— Nothing. It’s just that he is a fucking busybody — Louis said and Luke laughed.  
— So are you.  
— What? I’m not like that.  
— Say the boy who asked me everything about my past relationships two seconds after we were dating.  
— But that’s an exception.  
— Yeah, whatever you say, love — Luke said laughing and Louis pushed him a little. 

Louis was about to reply something till Jordan, his manager and other producers arrived. That meant he had to leave and do some work. Probably some photos and stuff. The recording of the program was the next day so Louis had all the day free to go and have some drinks. But before that, he had to plan the next two days with his managers and the producers. So Luke left him alone with those people. It was a work talk after all. Honestly, Louis wasn’t in the mood for that. He just wanted to stay in bed with Luke but that wasn’t possible. So he just tried to finish that talk as soon as possible. He did a few photos with Jordan who was always so nice and kind that made Louis felt so comfortable. He barely knew Jordan from a few months ago but he was already part of his family and friends’ crew. The best thing about Jordan was the good he was in his work. He did sick photos. But Louis was a little insecure about his image. However, Jordan’s photos were always perfect. 

After the photos, he just talked with his manager Matt and the X Factor producers. He was about to have a busy weekend with the arrival of Liam and Nil, the boys performances and then the final decision of who would be in his team. So they leave all tied up so Louis would know in every moment what to do. Unfortunately, he was going to be surrounded by cameras the entire next two days. So he just had to take the most advantage possible of that day. Therefore, after the meeting he just went back to his house and tried to look for Luke. He was to tell him the plan and work schedule for the weekend but he couldn’t find him anywhere. So Louis decided to go and ask Calvin in despite of he was still mad at him for what Calvin said before. 

— Hey, mate — Louis said seating next to Calvin in the sofa.  
— Hey. Luke is not here.  
— What? — Louis said looking at Calvin shocked.  
— C’mon, Louis! I know you since we we’re kids. I know you’re so stubborn and still mad at me for what I said before.  
— Oh, Cal. I’m sorry. I mean your comment wasn’t that bad. It was even funny.  
— Don’t worry — Calvin said giving Louis a hug. — Anyway, you finished today work?  
— Yeah. I was thinking about going to dinner with you guys.  
— Yeah. That’s sound good.  
— Do you know where Oli is?  
— I think he is in the kitchen. Maybe Luke is there too — Calvin said standing up.  
— Exactly — Louis said smiling. 

Both of them stood up and went to the kitchen. Fortunately, Oli and Luke were there. Louis couldn’t help laugh at them. Oli was standing on a chair with a beer in one hand and trying to open some furniture. Meanwhile Luke was jus next to him but reaching the furniture perfectly without the need of the chair. Louis’ laugh made Luke turn and look at him. He touched Oli in the leg for him to realise they weren’t alone. 

— Why don’t you just leave Luke help you? — Louis said trying to stop laughing but it was impossible.  
— Cause not. I can do it.  
— Whatever you say, big boy — Louis said with a sassy voice and made everybody except Oli laugh.  
— Anyway, we were thinking about going out and having dinner — Calvin suggested.  
— Yeah, sounds great — Luke said. — Who’s coming?  
— Just we and Jordan. Maybe Matt too, I don’t know.  
— Okay.  
— We’re going to a party after, right? — Oli asked going down of the chair with a chips bag in the other hand.  
— Of course. So if you wanted to change clothes of something, we’re leaving in 30 minutes.  
— Okay — Calvin said disappearing through the door.  
— You have to invite me to a few shoots — Oli said leaving too.  
— I will — Louis answered and approaching to Luke when they were completely alone. — Are you okay with that?  
— Yes, I guess so.  
— It’ll be funny.  
— Yeah and maybe everyone else is so drunk and I can do this — Luke said and kissed Louis.  
— Oh, what was that? I want more.  
— You want?  
— Yeah — Louis said and gave Luke a passionate kiss.

They were into their own world. Kissing each other passionately. Luke’s tongue entered completely into Louis mouth. Luke grabbed Louis’ ass and put him upside the kitchen table. They continued kissing and touching. Louis could feel Luke’s cock through his track pants, no wearing underpants. He was so turned on. He was so ready to have sex with Luke right then right there, but someone interrupted them.

— Louis, your phone was ringi ... — Calvin left the phrase in the middle. He just opened his mouth so much and stared at them. — Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.  
— Thank God, it’s you — Luke said taking a deep breath and separating himself from Louis.  
— Yeah. You two should be much more careful cause it could be Oli or some stranger. The kitchen has windows, you know?  
— Yeah, sorry.  
— Anyway. What do you want? — Louis said going down of the table a little angry.  
— Your phone was ringing.  
— Oh, right — he said and just left with Luke following him.  
— You alright, babe? — Luke asked softly after they went to their room.  
— Yeah. It’s just that I hate people seeing me like that. Vulnerable.  
— No one can see you vulnerable cause you’re the strongest person in the world — Luke said hugging him.  
— I fucking love you, you know that?  
— Yeah — he said laughing.  
— I love you. And now I think I have to answer this bloody call — Louis said leaving the room with the phone in one hand. 

He went to the outside backyard and took the call. It was just his manager calling to confirm that night club. Louis finished quickly the call and lighted a cigarette. He was mad at himself for losing control that way, that easy. But Luke made he feel something wild that he never felt before. However, he couldn’t afford himself that kind of behaviour in an island full of strangers. He tried to not think about that too much. Just went inside and change his T-shirt. And called a taxi for all of them. 

The rest of the night was fun as usual when he went out with his friends. Eating in a fancy restaurant, getting drunk and dancing in the VIP room of a club. By surprise, Calvin flirted with a girl and also Luke and Jordan got along really well. Louis was a little stressed so he just drank maybe too much. But he was sober enough to remember all the night and go to his own room without the help of Luke. Luke kissed him a lot in the bed but he wasn’t in the mood. So he just fell asleep on Luke’s arms. 

Louis woke up the next morning with a little of headache. Luke wasn’t in the bed. He hated that. Luke was so fucking morning person. Louis just stayed in bed a little more till his phone started ringing. It was his stylist who requires him in the boys’ house to start preparing him and the boys to record. He just got up and took a quickly shower. He wore his prepared clothes for that day and just went outside to the common backyard between his house and the boys’ house. He found a great surprise when he went out. Luke was there in the pool. Louis knew that he should not approach Luke, but he did it anyway. He wasn’t going to miss the chance of seeing Luke in a swimsuit. 

— Good morning! — he said approaching to pool.  
— Morning, love — Luke said stealing a kiss of Louis’ mouth.  
— Luke!  
— Sorry. I couldn’t avoid it. You’re so handsome when you’re still a bit sleepy.  
— I’m leaving, you idiot.  
— Okay — Luke said with a sad look on his face.  
— I love you.  
— Love you too.  
— Oh, I almost forgot. Try to get along with Zayn.  
— What?  
— Have a good day — Louis said leaving. 

Louis just left Luke and started walking with a big smile. He can’t believe such a handsome man like Luke was dating him. He was so happy for that. He couldn’t even believe that almost two most ago he was so depressed and thinking about what he made wrong with Harry. And now he was so fucking happy with a new relationship, a new lover in his life. He was really enjoying life for the first time in two months. 

He arrived at the boys’ house and greeted them. He explained a little what they had to do that day while Helen did his hair. They were so into in the conversation that Louis didn’t realise they had already started to film. Louis was just trying to be himself with the boys and in the program so he didn’t care about the cameras. In fact he thought it was a better opportunity for the people to know him better. They were talking when two cars just stopped. The invited judges arrived. Nil went out of the first car, then Liam from the second car. Louis hugged them both, checking Liam out because he hadn’t seen him for a really long time. Since his Just Hold On performance, actually. Liam seemed to be very happy and healthy. Louis was so glad to meet him and being able to spend a proper time with him. 

He and Liam spent the rest of the day together talking with the boys and doing some activities with them. Liam was really nice to the boys giving him some advices and stuff. When the nights came, the boys sang their song one by one. After that, Louis and Liam talked a little to deliberate. Louis had a really important decision to make. But then the boys went to his own house and Louis invited Liam to his house to have dinner with him and the lads. He was so happy and wanted to have fun with Liam and Zayn. He also wanted to tell them about Luke but he should ask Luke about that first.

— What’s up, lads? — Louis said entering in the living room.  
— Louis! I’m so glad to see you finally — Zayn said standing up of the sofa and going to hug Louis. He had missed that feeling.  
— Me too, mate. How are you? — Louis asked and seated down next to him in the sofa.  
— Good. Thanks. And you?  
— Good too — Louis said laughing it was the first time since 2016 he was in the same room with two of his best mates. Calvin, Oli and Luke were there too. And Louis was so fucking happy to spend time with all of them. Only Niall left to be there too.  
— I’m glad you’re back, Lou — Calvin said entering in the room with some pizzas boxes. — We have pizza and a lot of beer.  
— Perfect.  
— Actually, we tried to do something for dinner but Calvin almost set the kitchen on fire — Luke said laughing.  
— That’s not true — Calvin replied blushing and hiding himself behind a slice of pizza.  
— The thing is that Luke and I wanted to do some fried chicken with spices and Calvin was in charge of the fryer and it almost exploded — Zayn added laughing.  
— Okay. That’s enough. Let’s eat — Calvin said trying to stop everyone else from laughing at him. 

After that they all started eating the pizza and drinking. Everybody was talking to the others and laughing. Louis was so happy. He couldn’t believe that it was passed years since the last time he and his lads were reunited with Liam and Zayn. They weren’t in the same room since 2015, three years ago. But the atmosphere were so chilling and good no stress or tension at all. It was like they were never separated. Louis was a little afraid to meet Zayn again. Despite they talked to each other very often, it had been ages since the last time they see each other. Also Louis was worried about Zayn’s anxiety and being surrounded by some people he had no trust in like his friends, especially Luke. But luckily, Luke and Zayn got along very well both laughing at each other jokes and talking about Indian food and stuff. That was perfect. 

After a while, when the pizza was finished, Calvin proposed them to play some stupid cards game. Louis rejected the offer and went outside to smoke. Zayn followed him. Louis was a little nervous to be alone with him but he just smiled at Zayn. 

— I’m so glad you’re here.  
— Yeah. I’m glad Liam convinced me.  
— What? — Louis said lighting his own cigarette and giving one to Zayn.  
— I wasn’t sure about coming. It’s been a while and a lot of stuff happened.  
— Yeah.  
— But, I’m happy. Louis, you’ve always been a really important person in my life. I’ so fucking happy we’re friends again.  
— Me too, lad — Louis said hugging Zayn. — It’s so good to have one of my best friends back.  
— Yeah. We should hang out more often.  
— Defo — Louis said smiling at him. — But, tell me. How is everything? Your album. Liam. I want to know everything.  
— We have to catch up a lot, don’t we?  
— Yeah, but you started since my life it’s pretty boring.  
— Sure, whatever you say.  
— It’s. C’mon I’ve been in the same place for month with no new music, nothing good happened to me. Meanwhile, you’re on your second album with a lot of people around you who love you.  
— Jealous??  
— No, well maybe a little — Louis said and Zayn laughed.  
— Anyway, you know practically everything. My album is doing well. It will be out in November if everything is alright. But in the love I have nothing to new.  
— Why? — Louis asked curious.  
— I don’t know. I’m good with Liam. We’re not boyfriends or something just friends that fucked sometimes. And I don’t know if I want to be with him or go back with Gigi. It’s so complicate, mate.  
— Yeah, I know. But you would make the right choice with time — Louis said patting his leg to comfort Zayn. — You have two people that love you. I have no one. I’m so fucking lonely.  
— C’mon, Louis. You can’t lie to me.  
— What? I’m not lying. It’s true — Louis said surprised. He couldn’t believe Zayn caught him lying so quickly.  
— Do you think I’m an idiot? That we’ve been so long separated that I can’t recognize your gesture anymore? It’s so fucking obvious.  
— What are you talking about, Zayn?  
— Luke! — Zayn shouted.  
— What? — Louis said pretty surprised.  
— Yeah. I’ve been talking to him all day. He fucking loves you. And I know you two have something. You almost killed me with the eyes when I seated next to him in the sofa. Also you should learn to hide your feelings cause you can’t stop looking at him during the whole dinner. You were eating each other with the eyes and I was there in the middle! — Zayn screamed and then laughed.  
— Oh my God! We are so obvious? — Louis asked a little embarrassed but so much relieved.  
— Hell yeah.  
— Oh God! Maybe everybody knows then.  
— You have to be blind to not realize that there is something going on between you two.  
— Oh, shit.  
— Don’t worry, Lou. I won’t tell anybody.  
— Thank you, Z — Louis said hugging him. — Shall we go inside?  
— You can’t be separate of your man, eh?  
— It’s not that, Zayn! — Louis yelled at him blushed.  
— Whatever you say — Zayn said laughing. — Pretty handsome man, by the way.  
— What?  
— Luke. I mean he is so pretty. You chose well — Zayn said giving him a sassy look. — We look alike.  
— No, he is more handsome — Louis said laughing.  
— No.  
— Yes, and he is also taller and more muscular.  
— That’s true. He had good arms.  
— Right?  
— Yeah — Zayn said and both of them entered in the room laughing.  
— What’s so funny? — Liam asked.  
— Oh, nothing — both of them lied.  
— Join us, then. I’m winning — Calvin said and offered them some cards.  
— Yes — Zayn said seating down in the sofa next to Liam and leaving some space next to Luke for Louis to sit. He blinked at Louis for that. 

The night ended a few hours later with a lot of laughs and funny jokes. Louis was so happy to see many of his favourite people reunited in one room having a good time. That had been a magical night that he will remember forever. He said goodbye to Liam and Zayn with the promise of repeat that dinner again as soon as possible. He was so excited for that. It was difficult for him sleeping with all that excitement. Moreover, he had to take a really important decision the next day. But Luke comforted him in bed hugging him and giving him a little massage in his hair. 

Louis should have slept more but he had some important things to do that day. He reunited with Helen and the boys for that day recording. He was a little emotional because he had to let go two of his boys. However he wasn’t lost contact with them. After recording and deciding who was finally in his team, he and his lads had to take a flight back to London. He didn’t wanna go back because that meant that this lovely weekend was over. But he was excited to star working with the boys and his songs and showing the world that they were the best team. 

The trip home was relaxing. Just the four of them in a private plane. Calvin and Oli seated in the first row and besides them Luke and Louis. Luke was talking about some plan he had for them when they were back in London. He knew Louis would be so busy but he want them to see each other and have dates more often. Louis really loved the idea but Luke was talking in a really soft voice it made him relax. So he didn’t even realise but he fell asleep. The next thing he remembered what Luke softly touching his hair and saying “Lou, wake up”. He woke up with a terrible neck ache for being asleep in Luke’s shoulder. But they were already in England. 

They went home in Louis’ car that was parked in the airport parking. Luke messed a little with him for falling asleep in the plane instead of paying attention to his plans. Louis was a little embarrassed for that but that day had a lot of emotions and he was literally exhausted. He just wanted to arrive at home and cuddle in bed. Fortunately, Oli offered himself to drive. So Louis could just sit and relax in the back seat. Going back to London from the airport was always a nightmare with a lot of traffic. 

They arrived at Louis’ house after 40 minutes. Louis opened the front door and found some piece of paper in the floor. He just thought it was something Clifford found around there. Calvin and Oli went to sit in the sofa and ate some snacks. Luke stopped to cuddle Cliff. So Louis went to his room to leave the luggage there. He sat on his bed and opened that piece of paper. That paper could have been anything but Louis could never imagine what it actually was. 

“I miss you. H.”

— Louis, everything okay? — Luke asked.  
— Yes — he lied wrinkling that paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that you have arrived to the end, I really want to know what do you think about a larry meeting. I want to portray Louis confused and not knowing if he wants to go back with Harry or if he has found his true love with Luke. The problem is that I am not sure about doing it because I'm afraid that it's a little bit toxic or something. Anyway, I want to know what do you think about Harry wanting to go back with Louis and I want to know what do you want to see in the next chapters. Also be patient with me cause I'll have a busy week with uni stuff so I'm not sure if I will update this week.


	4. Now we’re strangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally chapter 4 is here! I want to say sorry because it takes me a while to post this chapter but I was a little busy with uni and a trip. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter because it has some really cute Louke moments that I love. But also the drama is coming at the end of the chapter. As always I would really appreciate if you let me know what do you think about how the plot is going and what you want to see in the next chapter. Just let me know if you're enjoying this and want to see more louke or more larry interactions. Enjoy it! And I hope not take that much to post the next chapter but I can't be sure since I'm a little lost and I don't know what to do about the larry drama. Thank you all for reading. Lots of love!

Louis really wanted to throw away that piece of paper but he couldn’t even though he tried to do it multiples times. That day he just went downstairs and tried to act normally. He didn’t tell Luke or the others anything because he didn’t even know what to do or what that meant. He was finally moving on. He was in a good place in his life after so long. He was able to fell in love again but that paper ruined everything. He could never escape from Harry. So he accepted that but he also tried to act normally, lived his life like always. He wasn’t going to let Harry ruined everything. At least, those were his intentions. Unfortunately, Louis really failed at doing that. It’s been four month since Louis received that text. He just continued with his life in the best way he could do it. He finished his work in X Factor with a great feeling. He was proud of himself and his boys. He continued his relationship with Luke all in secret but loving him like the first day in Mykonos. He continued working on his solo music. But in one way or another Harry was always in his mind. 

Anyway, it was the week before his birthday. Louis really felt that time flew in that part of the year. It was already December and it looked like yesterday when he was in Ibiza. That was a busy week for him. He had a lot of thing to do before going on Christmas holidays. The first thing on his to do list was buying all the presents for his siblings. He chose Calvin as shopping partner because he was one of his best friends, also because he really loved shopping. They were just having a casual walk in the mall. Louis had a really detailed list with all the things his sisters wanted. So it was easy for him to buy all of those presents. However it was better to do it in company. 

He and Calvin were doing a quickly stop in a McDonald’s to eat something before continuing shopping when Louis phone vibrated. Calvin was talking about something related to his birthday party. Louis insisted to the lads that he didn’t want a birthday party or anything but they planned a big party anyway. Louis looked at his phone. He had a notification from Niall. That was weird. But the worst thing was what that message said. Niall was inviting Louis to a 1d reunion to celebrate Christmas. That was alright but the bad thing came next. He said that Harry really wanted to talk to him. He couldn’t believe that curly idiot used Niall like that. Bold of him to assume Louis was going to accept that way. He didn’t want to see Harry not now, not when he was happy and had a lot of plans with people that really loved him. 

— What’s wrong, lad? — Calvin asked staring at Louis.  
— Eh? Nothing — Louis answered quickly.  
— Then why you look angry at your phone?  
— It’s nothing.  
— If you don’t want to talk about it, I get it but...  
— But what?  
— I’m just saying that it’s better to talk about the problem — Calvin said trying to calm Louis.  
— I don’t have a problem.  
— Yeah, why are you so mad then? — Calvin asked again. — I’m your friend, Lou, you can tell me everything and I’m always gonna try to help you.  
— It’s just ... — Louis started to say but he didn’t really know how to tell Calvin everything that happened with Harry. — Okay, you have to promise me you’re not gonna tell anyone, especially Luke.  
— I promised.  
— Harry talked to me.  
— What? — Calvin said opening his mouth so much that a French fried fall.  
— Rude!  
— Sorry. What does “Harry talked to me” mean? — Calvin asked still surprised.  
— He sent me a letter the day we arrived from Ibiza. He left it at home. It was just a piece of paper that said “I miss you”.  
— And did you answer?  
— Of course not. I’m not going to let that man to ruin my life again — Louis said a little mad.  
— And the drama queen jumped out.  
— It’s true! He ruined my life leaving me like that! — Louis shouted completely forgotten he was in public.  
— Well, well, calm down.  
— Anyway, now that I’m okay, I feel good with myself and I have a new man who loves me, he appeared like nothing happened and what should I do? Run after him. No way! — Louis said.  
— I’m not saying that but maybe you should talk to him, only to know what he wants.  
— I’m not doing that.  
— But maybe he just wants to say sorry.  
— I said I’m not doing that and I’m not. Nothing of what you say could change my mind, Calvin.  
— Okay, but you’ll have to talk to him sooner or later.  
— No, I won’t.  
— And you won’t either tell Luke, will you?  
— No. I’m just going to ignore everything and continue with my life.  
— Yeah but that isn’t working.  
— Why not?  
— Everybody, especially Luke, has noticed that there is something strange with you.  
— What?  
— Yeah. You don’t go out that often, you barely smile and you and Luke do not have that much sex.  
— How do you know that? — Louis asked embarrassed.  
— He told me. He didn’t believe your “I’m tired” excuse and asked me for advice — Calvin said laughing.  
— Why you?  
— Cause I’m a love guru.  
— Yeah, a guru that can’t find his own man — Louis replied laughing.  
— I’m working on it — Calvin blushed.  
— Yeah, whatever you say, lad — Louis laughed.  
— Anyway, the topic here was you and Harry not my love life.  
— I don’t want to talk more about it.  
— Okay, don’t talk to me but you should talk with Luke.  
— Yeah. I should but I don’t wanna lose him.  
— C’mon, Louis. Luke is so in love with you. And you didn’t cheat him or something. He will understand everything.  
— I hope so. And now you’re buying me a McFlurry cause you give me headache talking about this — Louis said dragging Calvin into the queue for more food.

“I’m not going anywhere. Tell Harry if he had something to tell me he should do it in person. But it would be lovely to see you, Liam and Zayn.” Louis answered at Niall’s message and they continued their shopping afternoon. Louis was a little tired of going here and there in that mall, but Calvin seemed to be having the time of his life so Louis decided to not complain and just continue buying things. He was so happy to spend that Christmas at home with all his family. He tried to convince Luke to spend Christmas with him but Luke refuse saying he didn’t celebrate Christmas and didn’t want to bother Louis’ family. Louis insisted telling Lottie would also bring his boyfriend but Luke wasn’t going to change his mind. However, they planned a little trip to Amsterdam, one of Louis’ favourite cities, to celebrate New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t the same but he was happy to make plans with Luke. But Louis wasn’t going to give up because he really wanted Luke to know well his family. He was thinking about all of this when Calvin finally decided he had already bought everything necessary for Christmas. They finally went home. Louis was really tired and just seated on the sofa eating some snacks while Calvin did a quickly revision of the things he bought. 

The next day, Louis and Luke went on a date. Luke didn’t have much work this week and they were able to see each other more often. Louis was really in a good mood preparing all the things for Christmas and finishing things for the next year music. So he didn’t care that much of going public with Luke. He really wanted to go out with him. He knew they can’t hold hands and stuff but he wanted to go for a walk. Louis was waiting for Luke outside his house with Clifford. They decided to go to a not really known park in the south of London. Louis was really hoping no one recognise him because if someone did, he would be on a trouble with his team. 

Luke arrived with two cups of coffee and some snacks. He told Louis not to eat anything before they arrived to the park. So Louis just put Cliff in the back seat and pick up the things so he could seat in the co-pilot seat. Driving around London was always a nightmare because of the traffic, but Luke made everything so relaxing. Luke was talking about something that happened to him and work and telling Louis about some work dinner he had the next days. Louis was paying attention looking at him with fonding eyes.  
They arrived to the park and Louis set Clifford free to run a little over there but always watching his dog carefully. He and Luke walked a little around there and then seated down some tree. Louis was finally able to eat the snacks Luke brought. They were some homemade Indian dessert. Surprisingly, Zayn taught Luke that recipe. He couldn’t believe they were that close. And also Louis couldn’t believe he was so lucky to have someone as good and caring as Luke. He was a truly angel. Louis didn’t deserve him, not after the past few months of him thinking about Harry’s note. So he convinced himself to tell Luke everything. It was going to be hard but it was the right thing. 

— Lukey — Louis said with a trembling voice.  
— Yeah?  
— I have to tell you something.  
— Okay ... — Luke said and his whole face expression change from being relax patting Clifford to looking straight at Louis’ eyes worried.  
— It’s not something important or something bad, I swear.  
— Just tell me, Lou.  
— Okay — Louis said taking a deep breath. — You know I’ve been a little weird and disconnected from everything lately?  
— Yes.  
— I told you and everybody it was because of the work and stuff but there’s something else. Remember when we came back from Ibiza?  
— Yes.  
— Well, when we arrived home, I received a letter — Louis made a pause because he really was worried about Luke’s reaction. — It was from Harry.  
— And what did he want?  
— He said he missed me. And he’s being trying to get in touch with me these months that’s why I was so weird. I didn’t know what to do or how to tell you.  
— It’s fine, baby. But is he still trying to talk to you?  
— Yeah, but I was ignoring him till yesterday when he used Niall to talk to me. So I told him that I didn’t want anything with him.  
— Okay, so we have nothing to worry about.  
— Oh God, Luke you’re such a good man! I was afraid of your reaction.  
— Louis, I will understand if you wanna talk with him or see him as a friend. You were together so many years and it’s normal you think about him sometimes cause you were really good friends. I’m never going to be mad at you or something. I love you.  
— I love you too, darling.  
— But, I could be really mad at him if he hurts you.  
— Okay, okay, love — Louis said laughing and cuddling Luke on the sly. He wished they weren’t in public because he really wanted to kiss his boyfriend. Luke was the best person in the world. 

A few hours later, they went to Louis’ home. Luke prepared a tasty but healthy dinner and they spent the night relaxing at home. They watched one superhero movie, Louis’ choice obviously. And after that, they had an amazing sex. Louis felt so much better and less guilty with Luke, so he could enjoy that night completely. The next day Luke stayed at home with him and made some pancakes for breakfast. Fortunately, Luke did all the cooking and Louis was only in charge of putting Nutella on them. Otherwise, he could set the kitchen on fire. They played football a little in the garden with Clifford running around. 

Just before the lunch time, Luke went outside to the garage while Louis was looking at some flyer to order food. He thought Luke was looking for some clothes or something like that to change since Louis’ clothes didn’t fit him. But Luke reappeared with a big box covered by gift wrap. 

— What’s that, love? — Louis asked anxious.  
— It’s your birthday present — Luke said giving him a sweet kiss in his forehead. — Since I have to go to that dinner tonight and we’ll be with the lads tomorrow, I wanted today to be an especial day for us to celebrate your birthday. And this is the perfect moment for you to open this.  
— Luke, you didn’t have to buy me anything — Louis said trying to catch the big box with his tiny hands.  
— Of course, I have to. It’s my gorgeous boyfriend birthday — Luke said seating next to him in the sofa and helping Louis to unwrap the gift. — Open it, love! I want to see your reaction. 

Louis just nodded and opened the big box. He was without words. There was a very beautiful electric guitar with his initial engraved in it. Louis was so surprised he didn’t even know what to say. He just gave Luke a really strong hug. Luke was really the best boyfriend in the world and Louis was so lucky to have him. 

— Do you like it?  
— Of course, I really like it. It’s beautiful, Luke. Thank you so much, love — Louis said giving Luke little kisses and trying to avoid crying.  
— I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t really sure but since the next year is going to be your music year I want you to have this.  
— Thank you so much. You didn’t have to spend so much money on this, Luke.  
— Don’t worry about that, idiot. It’s your birthday and you’ll always do great things for other. You deserve this and much more.  
— Shut up or I’m gonna end crying — Louis said and both of them laughed. 

After a make out session to celebrate Louis’ birthday in private, Luke had to go. Louis just stayed home missing his boyfriend cuddles and looking at his phone not doing much. The next day he had a really busy but excited day celebrating his birthday with all of his friends. He had planned a quiet dinner at home with his closer friends and then all of them will go to a club for partying and celebrating. He would prefer to stay home with Luke relaxing on the couch between his arms but it was a tradition to celebrate a big party in any of the lads’ birthdays. Of course he had to celebrate an amazing party on his birthday. But he left to Calvin the details of the party. In the end, he didn’t really like the place Calvin chose but he was sure the rest of the lads would love it so he was happy. 

Louis slept completely alone with Clifford that night. He missed Luke so much but he laughed imaging his boyfriend being a weirdo in any social interaction with his co-workers. Louis was pleasantly sleeping in the bed when his phone started ringing. He wake up because of that noise. He looked at his phone and he had an upcoming call from Calvin. What the fuck did he want? He was a little mad at Calvin for waking him up like that so early but he picked the phone anyway. Calvin told Louis to look outside the window. He was still a little sleepy but did what his friend said. He looked outside and for his surprise he saw Calvin standing in the porch with a lot of balloons. 

Louis smiled like an idiot and run quickly downstairs to open the door for him. Calvin had a key of his house, this idiot. He went downstairs and was completely shocked. His living room was full of balloons and garlands. It was all so cutely decorated. He was so overwhelmed looking at everything in there when the door opened suddenly. Louis got a little scared about that. Calvin, Oli, Lottie and Luke entered in the room shouting “Happy Birthday!” with a lot more of balloons and a big cake. Louis was so shocked and happy he was crying. Lottie was the first one to go and give him a big hug. Luke was the last one but he gave Louis one of the softest and sweetest kisses in the world. He was out of words with all that amazing surprise. He thanked his friends a hundred times. After a few minutes, they seated down and ate the cake for breakfast with Calvin telling Louis how they organized all of that. Oli added some funny moments when he exploded a balloon but fortunately Louis didn’t hear anything. They all laughed when Lottie told her side of the story and how everything was a chaos. 

After a couple of hours of funny stories, Lotite, Oli and Calvin left but Louis would see them that night again. Luke and Louis were alone and take advantage of that time. They did some romantic and domestic boyfriends stuff till the afternoon. Louis started cleaning a little the house for the dinner he was having while Luke was preparing himself for the after party. Luke was more like the type of guy who spends a lot on preparing himself, the clothes, the hair and stuff while Louis was completely the opposite he would just take a shower, put some trackies on and a cap. Obviously, Louis made fun of Luke because of that but he also found it really sexy. A little later he decided that the living room was decent enough to have a dinner in and went up. He came into his room to choose one of his favourites Burberry T-shirts to wear that day when he heard running water. Louis knew he shouldn’t do what he was thinking but he did it anyway he couldn’t resist. The imagine of Luke’s naked body in the shower was so intense and hot in his mind that he just wanted to watch that again in real life. So Louis just entered in the bathroom and proceed to take out his clothes. “Lukey, I’m coming”, he said when he was already opening the door of the shower. He was so lucky and greatfull to have that level of confidence with Luke that he didn’t matter Luke seeing him naked. He had a lot of body issues in the past but not now. He entered in the shower and looked at Luke. He was shocked and blushed but at the same time he was smiling looking al hot and good. It was Louis better decision so far that day. 

They did have sex in the shower. And therefore now they were in a rush getting ready because their friends could come in any minute. Louis was excited about that party. He wanted to have fun and dance, but he was a little upset because Luke and he couldn’t act like a couple. They’ve been together for six months now but Luke didn’t want to tell anything yet and Louis was a little pissed about everything. However, he was just going to let the things go because he didn’t want to create drama on his birthday party. He was used to the idea of not making contact with Luke while the lads where with them. He had been doing it all his life with Harry so it wasn’t anything new to have to do it with Luke too. 

Calvin was the first one to arrive, then his sisters Lottie with his boyfriend and Fizzy. Liam and Zayn said that they will pop up but they weren’t really sure. A few minutes later, Oli, Nizam and the rest of Louis group of friends appeared. Louis invited all of them to the table where the food was served. Calvin made a toast for Louis and much more age of happiness for him and for their friendship. Louis was so happy that day. Everything was almost perfect. He was having dinner with his friends and family enjoying a funny conversation with them. Seeing everybody happy and wanting to go to the afterparty made Louis very happy. 

He was just casually chatting with Lottie’s boyfriend and Luke when the door bell rang. Louis just stood up and went to open the door thinking it would be probably Liam. He left all the good vibes and laughs behind him in the living room. Louis opened the door with a big smile but his face expression changed completely when he saw the person who was standing at the other said of the door. 

 

— You didn’t take my phone calls — Harry said like and explication of why he was in the middle of the night standing in front of Louis' house.


	5. But these days I don't even know myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but here it's the chapter 5 finally! I was busy with a lot of uni works and I kinda run out of ideas but I hope you all like it. This chapter was suppose to be much more longer, including all the Christmas holidays, but I'll decided to published this now and leave all of that for the next chapter. It would be wonderful if you leave a comment and let me know what you think about the drama, the plot and how the story is going. Of course, if you have any ideas of what you want to happen in the next chapter, anything you want me to write, I'm all ears. Anyway, enjoy the reading and see you in the next chapter. Loads of love

— What the hell are you doing here? — Louis said clearly angry but he didn’t want to scream because he didn’t want anyone inside to know what was happening.  
— I told you. You didn’t take my calls — Harry said as an explanation.  
— And do you think coming here was a good idea? — Louis said sarcastically. — For the God’s sake, Harry, don’t taking your calls means that I don’t want to talk to you and don’t want you in my house. I don’t wanna know anything about you.  
— That really hurts, Lou — Harry said and he really seemed offended.  
— Yeah but it’s the true.  
— I was hoping this answer that’s why I brought you something — Harry said and showed Louis a big box. — A birthday present to say I’m sorry.  
— You think I’m going to forgive you with this? — Louis said taking the box.  
— I don’t think that. I know you, Lou, and you won’t forgive me that easy. I just want you to accept me and talk to me. Try to be friends? Can we do that?  
— No.  
— C'mon, Louis! I’ve been trying to talk to you all these months. I think I deserve a little of your time for explaining myself, don’t you think? — Harry said pouting.  
— Okay. I’ll talk to you but not now — Louis agreed knowing that he would regret that decision but something was beating so fast in his heart every time Harry said his name.  
— Why not? — Harry asked confused. — Oh, you’re with him, aren’t you?  
— With who?  
— Luke.  
— Oh my God, Harry! You have no right to judge me. No right! You were the one who broke up with me. Remember? — Louis shouted what made someone in the house started to wonder what was happening.  
— I’m not judging you. I just ... This is the first birthday that we spend separated. I just wanted to be with you in this day. As friends — Harry explained with a soft voice.  
— Well. I have other company for today.  
— Lou, what’s ... — Luke said but interrupted himself immediately. He appeared behind Louis and could see Harry perfectly from where he was standing. — Oh, I didn’t know you invited Harry.  
— I didn’t — Louis said being pretty uncomfortable between Harry and Luke. From all the people in the house Luke was the last one Louis wanted to be there. — He just decided to appear here the day of my birthday.  
— Actually, you’re birthday is the 24th — Harry said laughing but he received a killing look from both Luke and Louis. — I didn’t mean to bother you. I didn’t know you were having a party. I’ll come another day to talk if you want.  
— Yeah, we can talk another day — Louis said receiving a smile from Harry and a bad look from Luke.  
— Well, goodbye then, Harry — Luke said pushing the door to close it. — It was nice to see you.  
— Goodbye. I hope to see you soon, Louis — Harry said with the door almost in his face.  
— Goodbye — Louis said softly with a really weird feeling in his body. — Okay, I need a drink.  
— Me too. That was the weirdest thing in the world — Luke said hugging Louis to comfort him.  
— Yeah but I don’t want to think about that, not tonight.  
— Alright, babe — Luke said giving him a little kiss in the forehead. 

Louis and Luke went back to the living room when all the others were laughing and finishing their foods. Luke just seated down really quiet and continued drinking. Louis faked a couple of smiles and started to drink. He felt so weird. It was completely new feeling, something like nostalgia but weirder. He really thought he was over Harry but clearly he wasn’t otherwise he wouldn’t be so affected by all of that. He was in shock because he wasn’t expecting anything of that. He knew Harry was so stubborn and wouldn’t stop until he talked to Louis, but Louis could never imagine Harry would show up at his house. The worst part was that Louis didn’t know how to feel about that. Did he like Harry worrying about him? Was he happy with that? Did he hate Harry for showing up like that when his life was perfect? Did he want to talk to Harry’ Became his friend? Did he want them to be back together? Were all these months with Luke fake? Was Louis still in love with Harry? Too many questions for Louis. He couldn’t deal with all of that shit in that moment, in his birthday party! So Louis just went to the kitchen and grabbed a new bottle of alcohol. He wanted to forget all that drama, forget everything and be happy again. That was a little impossible, so he would need help from drugs and alcohol.

— Shall we going to the club? — Louis asked to his guests while he was serving himself a glass of vodka.  
— Yeah, why not? I'll call the taxi — Calvin offered.  
— Lou — someone whispered.  
— What?  
— I know it’s hard but do you really think alcohol is the solution? — Luke asked.  
— Yes, it is — Louis answered and drank all the glass of vodka. 

Louis stood up and went to talk to other people because he didn’t want Luke to kill his vibe. He just wanna get drunk and enjoy a little with his friend. He will think about all his problems tomorrow. Louis knew that doing that was a little irresponsible but he couldn’t deal with that, not that night. He just chatted a little with Oli and then went outside to smoke a cigarette. It was funny how something that was killing him could give him so much relief and relax. He saw the fist taxi coming and shouted to the others to get ready and go to the club. Unconsciously, Louis avoided going in the same taxi as Luke. So he ended up with some of his friends who weren’t that close but he could avoid weird question and restriction in that way.

Louis entered in the club and immediately ordered a lot of beer although he was already a little drunk. He just wanted to forget everything so he grabbed his pint and went to the dance floor. Some of his friends followed him and all of them started to dance and talk. He wasn’t having fun exactly, just trying to get drunk as fast as he can. After two drinks more and a lot of dancing, he went to the bar to order more drinks. He saw Luke on his left chatting with Lottie on a more relaxed atmosphere. Louis had some tequila shot and went to interrupt Luke’s conversation. Louis wasn’t clearly responsible of his acts. He just did things but wasn’t really sure if he was doing it because he was sad, angry, happy or all of them. He wished Harry would never talk to him. He wished he was still happy with Luke. Luke was everything he wanted and was standing in front of him with a disapproval look in his eyes.

— Why are you not having fun? It’s my birthday party! — Louis screamed dancing near Luke.  
— I’m not having fun cause I don’t like see you like this — Luke answered with a poker face.  
— Like what? — Louis asked laughing. He was too drunk to have a normal and serious conversation.  
— Drunk as fuck. Not taking care of yourself. I know you have a lot of feelings and a lot of thing going on right now. A lot to think and care about but drinking that much is not the solution — Luke said softly.  
— It is a solution for me! — Louis shouted feeling offended but not even knowing why — I would take care of all my problems tomorrow.  
— I guess I’ll see you tomorrow — Luke said turning back and making his way to the exit of the club.  
— Where are you going, Luke? — Louis asked desperate.  
— Home.  
— But I don’t want you to leave.  
— And I don’t want you to be drunk and thinking of Harry, but we could not have what we want — Luke said and seemed to be hurt.  
— Oh.  
— I love you, Louis. Take care — Luke said and left. 

Suddenly, a huge sadness inundated Louis’ heart. He didn’t understand well what just happened because he was so drunk. But he knew he messed things up with Luke. Louis would rather blame Harry for that but indeed he knew it was his fault. He was the one thinking about his ex when the person who loves him the most was just in front of him. Luke had left and there was nothing Louis could do that night. So he just went back with his friend and tried to spend the rest of the night in the best way he could.

 

Louis woke up the next morning not knowing really well how he ended up in his house and in his own bed. Probably Lottie helped him arrived home. She was an angel and he was so lucky to have people who love him and take care of him. Luke was one of them and he left the party. Louis tried to remember everything he could after Harry’s appearance. He knew Luke left but he wasn’t sure if he left because he was mad or sad with Louis. Definitely Louis should call him and apologise. But he was terrified cause if Luke asked what he was going to do about Harry, Louis wouldn’t know what answer. He wanted to talk to Harry, gave him a chance to explain himself, but he was afraid. It was so early for all of that drama so Louis decided to go downstairs and made himself a good cup of tea. But of course, the living room of his house was full of people. Lottie, his boyfriend, Fizzy, Oli and Calvin were all there eating around the big table quietly.

— Good morning — Louis said softly because of the hangover and Clifford run after him.  
— It’s 2 p.m., actually — Oli said.  
— Oh, that explains the Chinese food smell — Louis said with a disgusting gesture on his face.  
— Do you want some, mate? — Calvin offered.  
— No, thank you. I’ll make some tea. Anyone want some? — Louis asked and everyone agreed. 

Louis went to the kitchen and put some water to boil. Meanwhile, he looked to his phone. Louis had a lot of notifications as usual. The fans went crazy because some paps take photos of him last night. But he just cared about the WhatsApp messages. He had a message from Zayn saying he was sorry he and Liam couldn’t go finally at his birthday party. He had another one from Niall saying no one of the boys was going to be at the Christmas dinner he propose so it was cancelled. Louis replied to him telling Niall he would try to meet after holidays. Louis had some messages from the older twins. Another one from his grandfather asking about when he, Lottie and Fizzy will arrive at Doncaster. Finally he had one message from Harry and other from Luke. Louis didn’t want to think about that in that moment with such a headache he had. Finally, he decided to open Luke’s text.

"How are you? Can we talk?" 

Louis felt immediately relieved when he read that. Luke was not as mad as he though apparently. Louis answered him with sincerely words: “I’m hangover af. Wanna hang out later and talk about last night?”. Luke texted him back in a few minutes with a simple “sure” and an smiley emoji. Louis was a little afraid for that upcoming talk but he was glad Luke wasn’t mad at him. But Louis hoped he didn’t asked about Harry because Louis still didn’t figured out what he was going to do about that.

— Louis! The tea! — Lottie screamed running at the kitchen.  
— Oh, sorry — Louis said realising that the water was overflowing.  
— You’re acting really weird since yesterday — she said not judging just as she was trying to point out a fact.  
— Yeah, sorry — Louis said carrying the cups of tea to the living room avoiding more conversation. — Tea is ready.  
— Spill it, sis — Calvin said laughing. — No but seriously what happened yesterday, Louis?  
— You too, Cal — Louis reproached.  
— Me too?  
— I asked him the same because he’s weird since yesterday — Lottie said serving herself milk.  
— Okay, I’ll tell you all, gossips — Louis said. — Remember when someone knocked the door last night? It was Harry.  
— WHAT? — Calvin and Lottie screamed at the same time.  
— Yeah, he was at the door saying that I didn’t take his calls and he wanted to talk to me. Luke appeared in the middle and he was a little jealous — Louis made a pause to drink some tea. — So finally I told Harry we will talk later. Then I was confused and got drunk so Luke was mad at me. Anyway, it’s all a mess and I don’t know what to do.  
— What do you mean with what to do?  
— I think Harry want to go back with me — Louis said softly.  
— But you’re with Luke, right? — Oli said clearly confused.  
— But I think you were over Harry? — Lottie added.  
— Okay, guys, you’re confusing me more — Louis said. — The thing is that Luke is coming later to talk.  
— Oh — they all said at the same time.  
— And for the record, I want to be with Luke. I love him. And I only want to talk with Harry to be friends again — Louis said and left. 

He went outside to the garden and Clifford followed him. He lighted one cigarette and seated on the floor to play with Cliff. After a while, Fizzy went out with him and seated in the grass. She didn’t say anything just give him a little kiss in the shoulder and rest her head on him.

Two hours later everyone left with an excuse and a few minutes later Luke arrives. Louis opened the door and found an extremely handsome Luke holding a box of cupcakes. Luke maybe was mad and jealous but he was still the best boyfriend in the world.

— You didn’t have to — Louis said pointing at the box.  
— I thought some sweet will be good for your hangover — he said with an smile entering in the house.  
— Yeah. I haven’t eat yet — Louis said walking to the living room.  
— It’s 5 p.m., Lou! — Luke scolded him. — I can leave you alone one single day, can’t I?  
— No, please don’t leave me — Louis said seating next to him in the sofa.  
— I won’t but we have to talk.  
— Yeah, I know — Louis sighed. — Let me start by saying I just want to be friends with Harry.  
— I know.  
— And I am sorry for being a dickhead last night.  
— I know.  
— And I love you and want to be with you.  
— I know.  
— You know everything or what? — Louis asked.  
— Yeah — Luke laughed. —But I want to hear it from you.  
— Well, you heard it. Are we good now? — Louis said pouting.  
— Yes, we’re good — Luke said hugging him. — I love you.  
— I love you too — Louis said kissing him in the neck. — And I’ve missed you.  
— We’re only been separated one day, Lou. How are you gonna survive Christmas? — Luke asked with a fond smile.  
— Calling you everyday — Louis said. — Can we eat now?  
— Of course. 

After that talk, Luke went to the kitchen to make some tea, while Louis was in charge of choosing a movie. He picked up Love actually because it was Christmas, so obviously it was time for a shitty romcom. He waited for Luke to seat next to him and put his head on his chest while sipping his tea. Luke put his arms around his shoulder and they stayed in that position over two hour. Luke gave little kissed in Louis’ forehead sometimes and Louis gave him back on the chest. They were in silent the whole movie but not an awkward silent. It was perfect. But unfortunately, someone knocked the door. They had already finished the film but Louis refused to move. He was so comfortable, but the stranger outside kept knocking the door.

— I’m going! — Louis yelled and Luke laughed.  
— I didn’t want to bother you two — Lottie said softly coming through.  
— It’s okay, Lots.  
— Hello, Lottie. How are you? — Luke said going to greet her with a hug.  
— Fine. Thanks. Are you two okay?  
— Yes, completely fine as always — Luke said looking at Louis with a big smile.  
— I’m glad to hear that.  
— Uhm. We have to go already? — Louis asked a little upset.  
— Yeah, we’ll miss the train if we don’t leave now. Sorry, guys.  
— Oh, it’s okay.  
— You still can come and spend Christmas with us in Donny — Louis said looking straight in Luke’s eyes. — Please.  
— Oh, love. I’ve already have plans — Luke said kissing Louis. — But I’m gonna miss you so much.  
— Yeah, me too. 

Louis went to his room to pick the suitcase. He called Clifford after that and locked the door. Lottie took Clifford and Louis’ baggage into the car. Louis gave Luke a soft kiss in his lips. And after a big big huge, they said goodbye to each other. Luke left and Louis entered inside the car with a strange feeling. But they’ll be seeing each other in 8 days.


	6. But these days I don't even know myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry. It took me months to finish this chapter. I have to confess that I'm so lost with this story. I don't know if anybody likes it and i don't know how to end up all the drama and give louke a happy ending. Anyway, here you have chapter 6 and I hope you like it. Please, please, let me know any ideas or anything in the comments. It would help me a lot to continue writing. Till next time, loves.

The trip in train was relaxing. He used it to sleep a little while his sister next to him was reading. Lottie and his boyfriend were seated behind them talking about something. They arrived at Donny in less than two hours. His grandfather greeted them at the train station. He gave Louis a big hug because he didn’t see him since summer or probably more time ago. Louis was so happy to spend that Christmas at home because he hadn’t seen his little siblings in a while. Louis always felt good when he was back at home.

His grandfather guided them to the car. Louis, Lottie and Fizzy seated in the back seats by specific order of his grandfather. Sam and he seated on the pilot and co-pilot seats. Louis couldn’t help laughing because of the interrogation that his grandfather was doing to Sam. After all, Lottie’s new boyfriend was a completely stranger for his family. But that situation made Louis think about his grandparents’ reaction if he told them about his relationship with Luke. They would probably accept it because Louis and Luke were friends since a long time ago and his family knew Luke very well. He was a really good boy. Luke was that kind of person that everyone wants for their children. 

A little later they arrived at their home in Doncaster. Although, Louis hadn’t been there in a while, nothing has changed. The familiar smell, the beautiful wallpaper and decoration, the noise of a lot of children running around. It was home. Louis loved being in Donny because no matters what he was always welcomed there. In fact, the minute he opened the door he had his other four siblings waiting for hugging him. Doris was the first one to run into his arms. Louis gave her a big hug and caught her in his arms. He went to huge Daisy and Phoebe too. Finally he hugged Ernst. 

— Okay, children, let Louis breathe — ordered his grandmother coming out from the kitchen. — I’m so glad to see you, boo bear!  
— Me too — Louis said giving her a big huge with tearful eyes because all of that made him miss his mother so much.   
— Now, you can go upstairs to your rooms and leave all of that there — she said pointing at their baggage.   
— Okay — Louis said going upstairs with Clifford following him. 

He entered the one that was his room. It was a little different from the last time he was there but that was obvious. Louis only was in Doncaster for special occasions so in the meanwhile the rest of his family used that room. It has been Fizzy’s room but after she moved to London too, it was the guest room. But there were a few things from Louis and Fizzy there. Louis looked at some of his old stuff with a fond smile. Shit! That was a bad idea. He opened the bedside table drawers and all the memories came to his mind. He found there a bottle of lube with a post-it and a very dry flower. They post-it said “we should have stayed at a hotel”. It was from when Harry and he stayed at Louis’ home last Christmas. They had a little argue about having sex there. Louis said that it didn’t matter but Harry didn’t want to have sex in Louis’ house with all his siblings there, specially the youngest twin. But Harry was the sweetest person in the world and he wrote that and left that flower on Louis’s bed a few minutes after their fight. 

— I thought I shouldn’t touch your things, specially your adult things — his grandfather said laughing.   
— Oh my God! — Louis said clearly embarrassed.   
— So, what happened with the curly lad?   
— We broke up.   
— Oh. When? — He asked going to huge Louis.   
— At the beginning of summer but I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about that — Louis said with a little smile.   
— Are you sure?  
— Yes. I have a new boyfriend — Louis said.   
— Oh. Will we meet him?   
— We have enough with Lottie’s boyfriend this Christmas — Louis said giggling. — But you already know him, grandpa.   
— Who is he?  
— I don’t know if you remember this friend I have in high school— Louis said doubting and being nervous.  
— You had a lot of friend when you were a teenager, Louis.   
— Right.   
— You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.   
— I want to — Louis said taking a deep breath. — It’s Luke. Luke Malak.   
— Oh — his grandfather said clearly surprised. — How is he now? I haven’t seen him since... I don’t know. Since you were on X factor?  
— He’s so tall and big now. He had a couple tattoos. He’s so fucking handsome — Louis said blushing and he showed his grandpa a few pictures of Luke.   
— Yes, he’s handsome. Why didn’t he come with us for Christmas?  
— He’s not religious. I think his parents are Muslims but I’m not sure. Anyway he didn’t celebrate it.   
— Still ...  
— Yeah, he didn’t want to bother us I guess. He’s a little weirdo in social situations — Louis said laughing and remembering some of the cute moments he and Luke have had in the past few months.   
— How long have you been together?  
— Since July.   
— Oh.   
— What?  
— Nothing — his grandfather said thinking. — You started dating this guy Luke a little after Harry broke up with you, right? Don’t you think that it’s too soon?  
— No.   
— Lou, I don’t want to mess in your love life. But have you thought that maybe your heat wasn’t ready?   
— I started dating Luke a month or more after Harry broke up with me — Louis said a little angry.   
— Yeah, but I saw you here looking at Harry’s stuff and thinking about you two together. I’m not saying you don’t love Luke but maybe you’re not over Harry yet. It’s all I’m saying, Lou. Think about that — he said leaving Louis alone with his head full of question. Maybe he grandfather was right and he was still not over Harry. That would explain why he was so affected because of Harry’s appearance on his birthday party. But he wanted to be with Luke. Damn it! Why was everything so complicated?

Louis stayed in that position thinking about all of that mess. Fortunately, his grandmother called them to go downstairs and have dinner. The dinner was so good. Louis had missed handmade food. He had also missed his little sisters and their funny stories. Louis cleared up a little his mind. Not thinking about Harry, Luke or what his grandfather said, just chilling and enjoying the time with his family. The older twin was telling him some road trip they have prepared for that Christmas and they wanted Louis to take them there. Ernst was triying to talk with Sam who didn’t stop saying that Ernie was so cute and that made the kid a little angry. His grandmother was trying everything to make Doris eat her green peas but it was impossible. Definitely Louis had missed them a lot. 

The next day was a relaxing day at home. Louis spent a lot of time with each member of his family. He helped his grandmother with some flowers, let the older twin made him his nails, watched a film and chatted with Fizzy, go to have dinner with Lottie and Sam. He was just enjoying Donny like he used to do when he was not famous at all.   
On Sunday night, while he was watching some Christmas film with his family, his phone rang. It was Luke. Fuck! Louis had forgotten completely that he promised him to call everyday. He excused himself in front of his family with a few complaints from Doris and Enrie and went upstairs to his room.

— Hey, babe. Sorry. I completely forgot to call you yesterday — Louis said feeling the worst person in the world.   
— It’s okay, Lou. I only wanna make sure you are okay. You know, eating well and all of that.   
— Yeah, don’t worry. My grandmother takes care of that — Louis said laughing. — How are you?  
— I’m okay. But how was your day? Everything is okay at home?  
— Yeah. I’ve missed Donny and all my family so much. I almost have no time for myself. Everyone wants to do things with me — Louis laughed.   
— Oh, my popular boy. I’m glad you make room in your busy schedule to talk with your boyfriend.   
— Ha ha! Idiot — Louis said laughing so much and he can feel Luke smiling in the other side of the phone.  
— I miss you.   
— Miss you too, babe — Louis said and he really meant it.   
— Can’t wait to see you next Friday.   
— Yeah. It’s going to be amazing.   
— Yes but it could be even better if it was just you and me. I’m a little tired of travelling with our drunken friends.   
— Yeah. I feel you. I promise you a romantic trip soon, only you and me, sounds good? — Louis said with a soft smile.   
— Sounds really good.   
— Where will you want to go?  
— I don’t know. You choose. But I demand a big bath in our hotel room.   
— For wha... —Louis was asking but he realised what the bath was for in the middle of the sentence. — I didn’t know you are into that, Mr. Malak.   
— It’s only sex in a bath, Lou.   
— It’s not just that. Sex in a bath is so much better than sex in the bed or in the shower — Louis said blushing.   
— Anyway, I miss you. We haven’t had sex in like four days.   
— Oh, Mr. Malak, maybe you need some good sex?  
— Yeah. I’m gonna fuck you so hard in Amsterdam — Luke said with the sexiest tone of voice Louis has ever heard.   
— And what are you going to do to me, Mr. Malak? — Louis said trying to sound sexy not wanting to cut the sexual tension.   
— You’ll see. But I hope our room is separated from the other lad’s room cause I’m gonna make you scream my name so fucking loud.   
—Like this. Luke! — Louis shouted the most he could but making sure not loud enough for his family to listen.   
— Louder.   
— Luke! — Louis said a little louder already feeling his cock getting hard.   
— Alrgiht. And I hope you have no plans of sightseeing cause it’s going to be difficult to walk.   
— Stop! Please, Luke, I have a boner.   
— No problem — Luke said laughing. — I can help you with that.   
— We’re not going to do that. Not with my siblings downstairs.   
— Okay, okay — Luke grumbled.   
— Yeah, so tell me anything to make me colder.   
— Okay, but you’ll probably regret it.   
— What could be that bad?  
— So Calvin came home yesterday night. He and Nizam were watching some old footy match. And the thing is that Calvin was a little drunk and he asked me about you and if we were good because we were the dream couple. You should have watched Nizam’s reaction. It was priceless. Well, I have to tell him everything and he obviously didn’t react very well — Luke sighed.   
— Oh, it’s so much worse than I imagined. And what happened? — Louis asked a little worried because he knew that some of his friends could be really assholes and homophobic.   
— Not much. He just told me he hoped that it was a joke. I told him it wasn’t. I told him that you and I are together in a relationship. And then he went mad and said a lot of things that hurts me but I know he didn’t mean it.   
— Oh, Lukey, I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could be there and kick his homophobic ass — Louis said really angry.   
— Don’t worry, Lou. I know he didn’t mean it.   
— Oh, Luke, you’re so good. Always trying to see the best things in people. But me, I’m a little sick of all of this stuff.   
— No, please, Lou, I’m sorry for ruin your mood and make you feel angry — Luke said with a soft voice.   
— It’s not your fault, love. Are you okay with that?  
— Yeah. We haven’t talked since last night. Calvin and I left and I’m trying not to think about that.   
— But you should talk to him. He’s your flatmate after all.  
— Yeah, but I don’t want to.   
— But Luke — Louis said trying to find a solution for that situation.   
— I’ll try to talk to him and fix it before the Amsterdam trip.   
— Yeah, and if you need anything, you can call me whenever you want, you know that, don’t you?   
— Yes, I know. Thank you.   
— You’re welcome, babe — Louis said with a soft smile. — So, what are you going to do tonight?  
— Just play FIFA.   
— Oh, sounds fun. I wish I could be there to win you — Louis laughed. — You suck at FIFA.   
— Maybe, but I suck another things too.   
— Oh my God, Luke! Can you please stop with the sexual innuendos? Otherwise I’ll take a train to London right now and fuck you up — Louis said blushing.   
— Okay. I’ll stop. But you won’t get away with that on Friday.   
— Ha ha. I know.   
— Well, Lou, I have to go.  
— Okay. I love you — Louis said and blew a kiss.   
— I love you too.

Louis hung up the phone and went downstairs. His grandfather was the only one still awake. He thought about talking to him but he remembered everything he said about Luke and Harry, and honestly Louis wasn’t in the mood for that. He just went to the kitchen, made himself some tea and went back to his room with only saying good night to his grandfather. He drank his tea and lied in bed. He tried not too much about anything else that night. 

He just woke up the next day with Doris and Ernie entering in his room singing happy birthday. He got up quickly and run to hugged him. It ended up in a pillow fight with the two pairs of twins. A little later he went downstairs and found all his family reunited in the kitchen. There were a big chocolate cake and a lot of tea. Everybody sang happy birthday to Louis when they saw him entering in the room. Louis was so happy and soft for being there enjoying with his family. They all ate cake for breakfast and enjoyed a very funny chat leaded by his grandmother telling funny stories of Louis as a child.

That breakfast took so long but after that Louis went out to visit some of his family and old friends. It was kind of a tradition to do on his birthday. Then he met up with Calvin, who also was home for Christmas, and his brother. They went to one of Louis favourites restaurants in Doncaster. They used to go there a lot when they were still in high school. It was crazy thinking about how it all had changed so much in the past few years. But somehow it was still the same. Louis was the same, he had the same friends and Donny was also the same. It was relaxing have something like that in his life that doesn’t change, that was always there for him no matter what. 

He enjoyed lunch talking about random stuff, mostly indie music and Christmas present. They went for a walk with Clifford running around the streets. It hasn’t snowed in Doncaster yet but Louis could tell it was going to snow soon. He would want to see that but he would probably be so busy soon that he was sure he wouldn’t have time to go home. Anyway, he invited Calvin home for some tea and he ended up staying till late in the evening. He talked about a lot of stuff but nothing too serious. All his siblings joined that conversation so they all ended up playing some board game, Ernie’s suggestion, and laughing a lot. It was so perfect and comfortable. 

By 8 p.m., they were alone in family only and it was time for the Christmas dinner. All the food was so good and made with so much love of his grandmother. And after a casual dinner, they exchanged presents with Louis complaining as usual because he received his Christmas presents and birthday presents in the same day so he had less gifts. His grandfather replied to that commentary saying that he was rich now and it was so difficult to buy things for him. Louis laughed at that. It was crazy how he was success and rich now, and eight years ago he was in that same house but completely broke and worried about his future. 

All his siblings loved the presents Louis brought them. The older twin thanked him a thousand times. The youngest twin had a little argue with his grandmother because they wanted to play with them but she managed to convince them to go to bed and play tomorrow. Louis watched the entire scene with a big smile on his face. When the two pair of twins went to sleep he excused himself and went upstairs to his room. He entered in his room grabbing the phone. He had a normal birthday not a big party or anything. He doesn’t want that. Louis would rather spend his birthday that way relaxing with his family. But it was his birthday after all and Luke didn’t call him. Not that Louis checked his phone much that day but anyway he was expecting a call from Luke. Anyway, he decided to call Luke. 

— You didn’t call me today, you little shit — Louis yelled at the phone.   
— I’m good thanks for asking, babe — Luke said laughing.   
— But I’m not good. I feel abandoned.   
— Oh, Louis, don’t be so dramatic — Luke sighed. — Your birthday isn’t over yet, is it?  
— No, but I was the one who had to call you.   
— Sorry, love. I ask your sister about your plan for the day this morning and she told me you were going to be out almost all day. I was waiting for this time to call you — Luke apologized and Louis smiled so hard imaging Luke talking with Lottie or Fizzy about him.   
— It’s okay.   
— Then, tell me. How was your day? You have fun?   
— Yes. It was amazing. I did nothing special just launch with Calvin, play board games with my siblings and dinner with the family. But I had a really good time — Louis explained.  
— Okay. And the presents?   
— Well. I mean I can have everything I want so it’s difficult for them to buy me something especial.   
— Yeah, I know — Luke laughed.   
— But your present was the best one.   
— I’m glad to hear that but I had another surprised for you.   
— What? What? — Louis said all excited.   
— You’re like a little child — Luke laughed.   
— Whatever. But tell me. What is the surprise?  
— Okay, okay, baby boy. Look in the closet.   
— I’m in — Louis said opening the door. — Now what?  
— Don’t you see anything?  
— No...   
— Okay, I’ll help you. Behind your sneaker, it’s supposed to be a box.   
— This Adidas box? — Louis asked.   
— Yes.   
— You bought me some sneakers? — Louis said delusional.   
— The box is only to fool you, idiot. Open it!  
— Okay — Louis said opening the box and he was completely amazed. There was a notebook with a lot of cute phrases on it. In the cover page it said “Lou’s thoughts” and a rose was draw there. He had the most soft smile just imaging at Luke writing that. Under the notebook there was a box of chocolates and inside it a picture of them with “I love you” wrote in the back. — Luke, it’s so beautiful. I don’t have words. Thank you so much, love.   
— You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it cause I was not sure. Also planning this with Fizzy was a little crazy doing it behind your back.   
— Hahahaha. But it was worthy. I love it.   
— I’m glad but I have to admit that Zayn helped me painting the flower.   
— Oh. I like you two being friends — Louis said with a fond smile.   
— Yeah, me too.   
— So, definitely, your presents are the winner.   
— Was this a competition? What did I win? — Luke said laughing.   
— A lot of kisses when I see you.   
— That’s the best award ever.   
— Yup.   
— I can’t wait to see you.   
— Me neither. We’ll see each other in two days — Louis said and was truly excited about that.   
— Yeah, can’t wait.   
— Well, I think I should go to bed cause tomorrow we’re going to do a little travel to take the twin to some park — Louis explained.   
— Okay. Good night, love.   
— Night night, Luke. I love you.   
— I love you too. 

Louis hang up and immediately fell asleep with a fond feeling. He was so happy and lucky to have someone like Luke in his life. He couldn’t mess that up.   
The next day was exhausting. All his family went to a little town near Doncaster to visit a little fair about Christmas. They had it all decorated with lights and Christmas stuff. There were a few fairground attractions for the kids and a lot of stands to buy things and do activities. Louis went with the two pair of twins to a Fair Ferris Wheel and a carousel. He really enjoyed acting like a big brother and seeing his siblings smiles. They all ate hotdogs and cheesecake. In the afternoon, he joined Lottie and Fizzy to see the stands. There were Christmas decoration, things handmade, books, even food. Fizzy asked him about the present and they both talking about that and Luke for a while. Back in Donny they stopped to eat in a McDonald’s which was a little chaotic whit so many people but it was fun. 

Louis had a funny day but he was exhausted. The next morning he felt sad because he was leaving home to go to London again. It was strange. He wanted to go back and be with Luke and his friends but at the same time he rather stayed at home. After lunch, he hugged all of his siblings, all of them with sad face, especially the twins who complained and cried about him going back to London. He said goodbye but promised them he would be back soon. Louis had said goodbye to his family so many times but he still had tearful eyes when he does it. So he went outside with Clifford and his baggage before crying. 

He met Calvin in the train station. They had a relaxing trip back to London. They just talked about normal things. Calvin told Louis some anecdote about his Christmas Day. Louis listened amused. One of the things he loved the most about his friends was the laughs. And Calvin always gave him reasons to laugh about. Therefore, trip was short and entertaining. But the chaos of London in that time of the year ruined it a little. Fortunately, they went home in less than an hour. 

Louis was opening his front door when Cliff started to bark. Something was different there. He had a great surprise the minute he opened the door. A homemade food smell was around the house. Three glasses filled with wine were on the table. It was strange. All his friends had the key to his house but none of them entered there without his permission. 

— Hello? — Louis said stranged looking at Calvin in case he knew something about that.   
— Surprise! — Luke said going out of the kitchen.   
— Oh my God! — Calvin shouted. — You scared the shit out of me, Malak.   
— Sorry — Luke laughed.   
— Lukey, it’s so good to see you! What is this all, love? — Louis asked and run to hug and kiss him.   
— I thought you were tired for the train and I made us dinner. It’s also a present in reward of let me staying at your place this days. So, leave the baggage on your rooms and I will prepare the table.   
— You’re the best, babe — Louis said giving Luke a soft kiss in his cheek. 

They had a fantastic dinner. The food was delicious. They talked about trivial stuff mostly what they did on Christmas. Calvin told them a story about how his brother almost burned his guitar with a cigarette. Louis really had missed Luke beautiful smile. Although he knew they had some important matters to talk about but he preferred to leave that for another moment. 

He and Calvin washed the dishes while Luke picked up a movie. Louis ended up falling asleep in the middle of the movie. He was so exhausted because of his trip home. He had no stop during four days carrying his siblings from one place to another. But now he was the one being carried from the sofa to his bedroom. He woke up in the middle of the stairs and felt Luke’s strong arms around his body. Calvin was behind them laughing and filming the entire scene. Louis smiled a little embarrassed but he was so comfortable in Luke’s arms that he didn’t complain. He let Luke put him in bed and cover him up with the blankets. He immediately fell asleep again. 

Louis woke up the next morning because his phone was ringing. He picked up and heard Ernst’s voice saying that he misses him. Louis also heard his grandmother saying that he shouldn’t take things without permission. Louis laughed and kept talking with his little brother a couple of minutes. After that he went downstairs to have breakfast.

— Gross! — He screamed when he passed next to Calvin who was preparing two avocado toasts.   
— Good morning — Calvin replied.   
— There’s tea in the tea pot, love — Luke said giving him a soft kiss.   
— That’s the right way to say good morning to me.   
— Well, you didn’t say good night to me last night — Calvin said with a sassy smile.   
— You didn’t see anything, okay? — Louis said embarrassed.   
— I don’t get paid enough to handle your stupid couple things.   
— I don’t get paid at all — Luke said grabbing one of the avocado toasts while Louis watched him with a disgusting look.   
— I was planning to pay you with kisses but since you eat that shit I would not be able to kiss you. Sorry, Lukey — Louis replied and went to the garden to smoke a cigarette while he watched Clifford running. 

The year 2018 was ending in less than four days. He was so excited to start a new year with his new music and his upcoming album. He was already imaging the reaction of the fans. He was so excited to see what the new year brings. But before that he had a lad trip prepared to celebrate New Year’s Eve. He thought it was a good idea some months ago but now he wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t want to see the lad after was Luke told him. And if that was worse, the city they were travelling to was worse. From all the cities in the world they chose Amsterdam. Seriously? He had some good memories in Amsterdam but now those memories hurted. Anyway, he was ready to create new memories with Luke without caring about the other lads or anything else. 

— Help me with packing, Cal? — Louis asked going inside the house.   
— Sure, mate. I’m so excited for tomorrow.   
— Yeah...  
— Amsterdam is gonna be so great. 

Louis didn’t reply. He wasn’t in the mood but he was happy seeing Calvin excited. Honestly, he envied Calvin because he had travel around the entire world with Louis but he was still excited when they had to do another travel. Louis was a little tired of travelling. But he focused on unpacking the clothes he wore on Christmas and do the laundry. Meanwhile Calvin was looking at his wardrobe picking outfits for the parties in Amsterdam. They laughed a lot doing an improvised modelling show with Luke as judge. Obviously Louis won but Calvin claimed that de judge was not impartial. They spent all the morning laughing. Fortunately they were done with packaging at 13:30 pm. because Louis was really hungry.   
They did a little trip to the nearest McDonald’s to eat. Louis’s choice, obviously. Luke complained about that because they will probably going to eat a lot of fast food in the Amsterdam travel. But in the end they spent a great lunch there. And they had a quiet afternoon not doing much more than playing FIFA and finishing packaging things.   
Louis woke up the next morning due to the sound of the alarm clock. They had a flight to catch at 12 pm. He was not ready at all for that. But he went downstairs and forced himself to eat breakfast. Calvin was talking a lot about all the things he wanted to do. Louis was still sleepy so he ate fast and went to have a shower. He picked a comfy outfit for the plane. He was ready after that but he perfectly knew that Calvin wasn’t ready yet. After twenty minutes of waiting, they finally left the house and went to the airport with Luke driving.

— Another party trip, uh? — Luke asked cutting the discussion between Calvin and Louis to decide with playlist they should listen to.   
— Yeah — Louis laughed. — And I hope we’ll repeat our tradition during party trips.   
— Which tradition?  
— Sex tradition.   
— Oh my God, Louis! — Calvin screamed.   
— Sorry — Louis laughed.   
— We’ll repeat it — Luke affirmed.   
— Okay cause you promise it. 

They stayed in silent the rest of the journey till they arrive to the airport. They met there with Oli, Nizam and a bunch more of their friends and their girlfriends. Louis could feel how Luke was tense. He pressed Luke’s arms to let him know that he was there with him and that always was going to be alright. After exchanging a lot of “hellos” and recording some things for Instagram (obviously Calvin’s suggestion), they finally took off. 

Amsterdam was great. More cold than Louis remembered, but they were in December so it was obviously cold. Fortunately, Louis had packed a lot of sweatshirts. A car picked them up from the airport and left them on their hotel. They all agreed on resting a bit before going for dinner. 

— Finally we have some alone time — Louis said closing their room door.   
— Yes — Luke left the suitcases on the bed and went back to hug Louis.   
— I’ve missed being alone with you.   
— Yeah, me too. 

Luke said and immediately Louis stood up on his tip toes to kiss him. It started like a soft kiss but the intensity was rising. Louis passed his hands from Luke’s hair to his back. He took a while caressing Luke’s strong back muscles. Yeah, he had definitely missed that. Luke’s tongue made its own way inside Louis mouth. Their kiss turned on a hot and wet kiss. Louis could feel his cock half hard already. Luke held Louis on his arms and started walking to the bed. He left Louis on bed softly and placed himself on top of Louis. Louis quickly surrounded Luke’s waist with his legs. And at the same time Louis was working on remove Luke’s T-shirt. He helped Louis with than and immediately went back to kissing Louis. 

— You sure you want this? — Luke asked moving his hand to Louis’ cock.   
— Yeah. Of course. I want you — Louis said giving him little bites on the neck and playing with Luke hair. 

After two hours and a mind blowing sex, Louis was talking with Calvin in the hallway while Luke was still in the room taking a quick shower. They were just chatting about normal things. Calvin was super excited about some bar they were going to. It was supposed to be a secret bar inside a burger shop or something. Louis wasn’t paying too much attention because he saw Nizam, Oli and some of his friends were just entering in the hallway. Louis knew that they were probably mad at him because he was dating with Luke but he didn’t care. He was worried about Luke. Luke had a big argue with them only because he was sleeping with a boy and Louis knew that he was hurted. So it was his mission to not letting that assholes made Luke felt uncomfortable or something.

It was awkward. Being there with people he knew his whole life but knowing they were judging him and the person he loved the most. Worst feeling ever. Fortunately, the rest of the lads arrive soon so they left earlier for the pub. Luke, Louis, Calvin and another friend were in the same taxi, not talking much. When they arrived at the burger restaurant, they just entered and were leaded around some corridors by two young women. The decoration was really beautiful, definitely worthy of all the photos Calvin was taking. After a bit of walking inside the building, they finally arrived at a big black door. It was a lot of noise and loud music behind the door. When one of the girl opened the door, Louis saw a lot of people dancing around a dj set. They followed the other girl to their more private space. That girl ordered some drinks and beers for them and Louis thanked her. He immediately grabbed a beer and took Luke to the dance floor. He was so done with awkward looks and silence. He just wanted to spend a good night with his real friends. Louis drank a little of his beer and started dancing around Luke. A couple of hours later he was so exhausted and a little drunk, that they decided to go outside to have fresh air. 

— I’m fucking freezing — Luke said complaining about the cold weather while Louis was smoking outside.   
— It’s 31st of the December, idiot. It’s normal — Louis laughed and grinded himself around Luke to warm him up.   
— No, you better don’t do that or I’m gonna have a boner.   
— You will be hotter then.   
— Yeah but I don’t want to come back inside with my jeans too tight.   
— That shouldn’t be a problem when we’re back in our hotel room, should it?  
— No, certainly not.   
— You, guys, come inside. It’s almost midnight! — Calvin shouted at them from the door.   
— Yeah. 

The three of them entered inside again and joined the rest of the group. There was a big clock in one of the club walls. Suddenly all of the people there started shouting numbers. Ten! Nine! Eight! Louis was a little in shock. He couldn’t believe they were about to enter in 2019. He was so close to his 30s that it hurted a bit. Seven! Six! Five! Louis looked around him and saw a crew of happy faces and smiles. He caught himself of that happy vibe and started counted with the crew. Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year! They all shouted and clapped. The dj made a simple toast and restarted the music. 

— Happy New Year, love! — Luke said and gave him a soft kiss in Louis’ check.   
— Happy New Year!  
— You have to make a wish  
— A wish?  
— Yeah, what you want to have in this New Year? — Luke asked and Louis knew that he really wanted was exactly in front of him.   
— Done.   
— Yes? What did you wish for?  
— You — Louis confessed and hugged Luke.   
— Okay, so let’s make a toast for us.   
— For us, my love — Louis said and drink a little of his champagne cup.

**Author's Note:**

> If someone liked it, it would be wonderfull to leave a comment. Also maybe I'll do a real fanfic about Louke but I'm not sure if someone is actually going to read it. Anyway, if you want me to do some oneshot, headcanons or a propper fic or just talk about louke, you can ask me about that in the comment or in Twitter.


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